Ah yes, The ARIA Awards. Bloody marvelous, aren’t they? A celebration of the best and brightest talent in the Australian music industry, with countless artists vying for the much coveted ‘Album Of The Year’ prize in their chosen genre. From it’s humble beginnings way back in 1987, with the Daddy of Australian power ballads John Farnham taking out both Album and Single Of The Year with Whispering Jack and You’re The Voice respectively, it’s launched the countless careers of some of our most well-respected Australian musicians, and is undoubtedly the highest honour in the industry at large.
Except that it’s not. Nobody aside from latte-smashing industry snobs and stuffy label executives really give a shit about the ARIA’s, and winning an ARIA has rarely been an indication of anything other than your popularity within a certain group of industry figures from your chosen genre. Each genre category winner is decided by anywhere from 40 – 100 ‘notable’ individuals within that genre, while the other awards are determined by the ‘voting academy’; a group of around 1,000 people accepted into the academy via special invitation.
Having established that, one would assume that if your band doesn’t happen to win the ‘Album Of The Year’ in your genre category, you probably wouldn’t give a shit, right? They’re industry awards after all, and you’re in a band for the people, man. Fuck those normie record label scum with their genderfluid pomeranians and almond microbead genital scrubs. They can suck 1,000 flaccid dicks while you smash out another innovative record that gains the adoration of your fans yet fails to capture the attention of industry moguls because it’s just too damn brilliant, right guys?
Except if you’re The Amity Affliction, of course — the whiniest, most infuriatingly petulant sack of ineffectual penises in the entire music scene. Evidently unhappy about losing to King Gizzard & The Lizard Wizard for Album Of The Year in the hard rock/heavy metal category, they took to Twitter to voice their disapproval.
As you clearly see, Stringer and Birch certainly aren’t salty. Because demanding that an industry award ceremony exclude your band from all future nominations because you failed to win means you’re jolly as can be, as does proclaiming even if you did manage to win then you probably would have pissed on it anyway. Sportsmanship at its finest.
The problem with the shitty, childlike behaviour of The Amity Affliction is not so much with what they’re saying, rather than why they’re saying it. Nobody is claiming The ARIA Awards are a bastion of artistic integrity, and it’s perfectly conceivable to imagine that a band more popular in the industry would win over another, less popular act, even if their album was simply not as good. Sadly (and embarrassingly) for TAA, this wasn’t the case.
Put simply, This Could Be Heartbreak just wasn’t a fantastic record. Music Feeds said of the album “for better or worse, very much a rehashing of the same old formula”. Kill Your Stereo stated “While the first half is repetitive and slightly uninspired, it’s the second half where this album really shines.” The reviews, for the most part, weren’t terrible — usually sitting around a 2.5 to 3/5 star rating, but they weren’t exceptional by any standard either. This Could Be Heartbreak was a ‘good’ album. Not amazing, not innovative or cutting-edge — just okay. Compare that to the reviews for King Gizzard’s Nonagon Infinity, consistently reaching 8/10 and 4/5 star ratings, with even NPR — the most insufferably normie radio station in the entire world — giving it rave reviews.
According to the critics, Nonagon Infinity was a superior album to This Could Be Heartbreak, and likely why they took out the prize. Personally, I’m not a fan of either band, and would have liked to see Hellions snap up the award for Opera Oblivia. But they didn’t, and neither did you, The Amity Affliction you sad, sooky pack of woolly woofters.
Check out our review of This Could Be Heartbreak below.
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