11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Blunt Shovel

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Blunt Shovel
At a time where I don’t write much about music, a good friend of mine told me that I should do an article about Blunt Shovel, a death metal band from Melbourne. To be blunt (heh heh), I am a shit interviewer. And, to some of the people who read this, Blunt Shovel is a shit band. And, those two things go hand-in-hand – like beer and daddy issues – you can’t have one without the other. That being said, it’s time for another installment of 11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands, featuring Blunt Shovel’s guitarist Luke Walton.

Can you explain the correlation between listening to your music and rapidly advancing male pattern baldness?

Thanks Lenny, thanks for having us. The new album comes out January 17 through Goatsound / Gamla Records, we appreciate the kind introduction.

What would you say is most unique about your blend of current trends?

We’d love to do that one day, but for the moment we’re concentrating on shows within Australia. We’ve got a string of shows lined up to launch the new album and we’re looking forward to hitting the road.

Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

For this album, we were more really been far as decided instead of trying to use the to even go want to do look more like. It made more sense at this point in time.

Does the bassist pitch or catch?

He has to catch. He’s too well hung to be allowed to pitch. Have you seen that thing? It’s as if god felt bad for making him a retarded bass player and tried to make up for it by hanging one of those 6m tall wavey men off the front of him. Still a retard though.

What’s one thing that James Hetfield just doesn’t get about metal or the music industry?


Do you actually think that breakdowns are a good songwriting technique or are you just pandering to the five kids in mosh shorts that stand in the middle of the room at your shows flailing their limbs about?

Breakdown? Is that some sort of slang? I’ll have to Google it …

Right, got it. Fuck you dude.

Do you get more nervous announcing that you have an announcement, or actually announcing the announcement?

Finally you decided to ask a decent question, thank you. Personally I prefer the ones that you can leave in when you go out and whack the little remote in your pocket and turn that sucker on and no one knows why you’ve ended up with a trail of semen and shit down your pant leg.

If a girl sings it first, should it be Dido or Alicia Keys?

Wait … have you been looking at my Redtube history? That question can’t be a coincidence? OHHHH! Dido. Right.

Your parent and significant other have switched bodies. The only way to switch them back is to fuck one of them. Do you fuck your parent-in-partners-body, or your partner-in-parents-body?

Why not both? Amirite?

Which band do you have pointless “beef” with this week?

Same as every week. Blood Duster. Fuck those cunts.

What is your favourite copypasta? Did you have to Google what copypasta is before answering this question?

If you can’t accept me you’re a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege.

Blunt Shovel, featuring members of notable Australian metal bands such as Truth Corroded and Abramelin, released their debut album Get In The Ground on January 17 via Goatsound and Gamla Grind Records. It was recorded with Jason P.C. at Goatsound Studios. You can check it out via their Bandcamp page, or watch the music video for the hilariously titled ‘Destination Dog Food’ below.

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Blunt Shovel
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