Song review: “I Thought About Snorkelling The Storm Water Drain (But It’s About As Deep As I Am)”
Location: Newcastle, NSW, Australia.
Date of Release: 22/08/2013
Genre: Post Hardcore
FUCK YOU BRINKWORTH! Where the fuck do you get off? What kind of limey-no good-down syndrome riddled son of Ice Cube’s crack whore-bull shit move was that? I can’t believe you just pulled that. Seriously. Go die in the hole!
I can’t fuckin believe it! I wanted to pull you cunts apart into so many pieces that the worlds best jigsaw solver takes one look and hangs himself. But no! You had to go and be fuckin amazing at what you do.
I may be me still in shock, but fuck! What a solid track.
Now let me address that one issue that EVERYONE who listens to the song with the second longest name in the world will come across. YOUR FUCKING SINGER SUCKS BALLS. I’m serious. He sounds like Lemmy finally had his inevitable tracheotomy and started renting his new hole out to black dudes with a thing for moled up white men. But can you blame me for thinking that? REALLY, BRINKWORTH? And before you go and get all huffy, remember that I have given a lot worse
So now that that is out of the way, I will say this. Fuck you guys write well. The moment I hit play on this thing my whole body was hit by this swell of post-hardcore chills. That first few seconds completely draws you in for some fuckin reason. If I were a chick I would suck the three of you off purely for that intro. The mix is fantastically clear and so well balanced. The snare is has just the right tone and presence to push the rest of the instrumentation forward. The bass EXISTS. Oh lordy how it exists. Praaaaaise JE-z-Us! And god does it sound perfect!
I cannot fault any of the writing, the tones, the overall song in major way. Which is why it pains me to say that your vocalist isn’t great. His approach feels completely wrong for such a great piece of music. The first scream after the intro completely wakes you up from that awesome trance and you fucking hate him for it. It’s like getting a blowjob interrupted by your mother storming in and asking if you want salad or chips. When is that ever ok? It’s not and you should take your mother to court for it! Because that blowjob cost you $230 and you spent the rest of the time with a stale fish in that hookers mouth.
It’s worth saying that my opinion of the vox has improved slightly. Towards the end of the song it feels like he has it almost right. there is a really decent part that gives this urgent feeling. The style of vox suits here, it pushes the feeling of turmoil forward and sells that section for me. If only we saw some dynamic from the rest of his parts.
Guys, musically, you are the closest to a ten I’m ever gonna give. But I honestly feel that your vocalist should invest some time into learning about dynamic and range. Don’t just bark all the way through. Post hardcore is supposed to make the listener feel something. It’s like Trying to watch 2.37
with a dog barking in the background.
Vocals: Screams: 3/10
Lyrics: dog barking and needs its head blown off/10
Overall IPHYB Rating: 7.5/10 (sans vox is a 9.5)
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