Reviews

Song Review: Mindshank – “See Through”

Song Review: Mindshank – “See Through”

Song: See Through Band/Artist: Mindshank Location: Central Coast, NSW Date of Release: 17 Aug 2014 Genre: Hardcore Reviewer: Dead Set Dave For Fans Of: Against, Terror Why They Aren’t Famous: Give em time… Unlike most of the bands I see on IPHYB, Mindshank was already known to me, by name. I’d heard various people say they were one to watch out for, one of the up-and-coming hardcore acts in the country. But would it hold true? The Central Coast of NSW is a great place – if you’re into teen pregnancy and violence. But since you’re reading IPHYB, I’m going to assume that you’re into that kind of thing. Coming from the same region as punkers One Dollar Short, and separated from Sydney by some great roads for motorbikes, I probably hold CC bands to a higher standard than I would someone from a place that people actually care about. Like Newcastle. Remember that place? Silverchair started there, and since then it’s been the go-to destination for travelling serial killers and dust storms. Pictured: Newcastle, and Silverchair’s current fan-base So what can I say about Mindshank? Well first up, the introduction to this song is fucking staunch (yep, like the only other band to ever come out of Newcastle). There’s a dangerously awesome bass that’s right up in the mix, and it’s synced so tightly with the drums that I want to fucking lose my shit instantly. That’s how it’s fucking done guys! The guitars are generally pretty straightforward, but it’s nothing bad. There’s enough syncopated rhythms and long held notes to give the song a real atmosphere and... read more
Song Review: Electric Zebra – “Say My Name”

Song Review: Electric Zebra – “Say My Name”

Song: “Say My Name” Band/Artist: Electric Zebra Location: Gold Coast Date of Release: November 2014 Genre: Alt. Rock Reviewer: SoulDoubt For Fans Of: The same ok music on repeat for 3 minutes Why They Aren’t Famous: Because there isn’t enough stoners AND isn’t the 60’s What we have here ladies and gentlemen this some rather funky, lay back rock n roll, dated… Incredibly dated maybe its just the circles I listen in, but you don’t here a song like “Say My Name’s” first two minutes outside of the 60’s very often. The drums and bass create a simple lay back groove and stay there. If the pocket were the ocean they’d be muthafucking fish, they live there. Occasional Bass fills add a little funk to it, one of my favourite parts of the song. The drummer reminds of Ringo Star, and not in the fact that he as quirky name, (there is nothing quirky about the name “Daniel”) rather in the way that he brings nothing to the band musically, he is rather a glorified metronome, furthermore the two fills he plays in the song, are hardly worth being labelled as fills. They have as much in common with drum work as they do with the sound of drum sticks being dropped on a tom and them rolling off. Although with drumming that boring you would be able to play completely trashed! Genius or lazy musician, who knows. The guitar work is understated to the point that rhythm guitar is completely forgotten during first half of solo. It was not missed, the bass works strong enough to render said... read more
Song Review: Jay Lawrence – “Reckless Abandon”

Song Review: Jay Lawrence – “Reckless Abandon”

Song: Reckless Abandon Band/Artist: Jay Lawrence Location: Illinois, US Twitter: @whoisjaylawrence Date of Release: 12th January, 2015 Genre: Acoustic Reviewer: Erised (abuse me on twitter @Giaccattack) For Fans Of: From Autumn To Ashes acoustic stuff, ditto Escape The Fate. Fans of Alvin and the Chipmunks will probably dig this too. Why he isn’t famous: You’ll see. Oh…You’ll see. Ahoy there, kiddies! Did you miss me? No? Didn’t even notice? Ok then. Well in any case, it is time for story time with your great uncle Erised. When I was but a wee lad, before I blossomed into the disgusting, perverted masterpiece you see before you, I had a morbid fascination with hamsters. They’re soft, furry and so cute that it hurts, so it’s really not that surprising but as always with myself and things of beauty, I inevitably find myself wanting to defile them. In this particular case, it was my desire to find out the truth behind that old chestnut, “Why do you wrap your hamster in duct tape?”. The answer, of course, being so that it doesn’t bust when you fuck it. Now, I’m sure you are wondering what the relevancy of this tale of childhood-curiosity-fuelled-bestiality is? Well you see kids, Jay Lawrence’s voice sounds uncannily like the frantic squeaks that Mr Puggles emitted amidst the throes of my misguided adolescent passion. Try getting THAT out of your head when you listen to “Reckless Abandon”! PROTIP: you can’t. This song is kind of ok, to be honest but I really can’t get past auld mayte’s chipmunk voice. It kind of caught me off guard actually. You have... read more
Song Review: As Chaos Falls – “Danger Zone”

Song Review: As Chaos Falls – “Danger Zone”

Song: Danger Zone (no really that’s its fucking name) Band/Artist: As Chaos Falls Location: Gold Coast, QLD Genre: Derivative Metalcore Reviewer: Dead Set Dave For Fans Of: The Desperate Housewives of Melbourne Why They Aren’t Famous:They probably didn’t use Myspace or something… Funnily enough when I look up chaos in the dictionary I find the example “a chaos of meaningless phrases”. Which is perfect because that’s how I feel about this band name. Seriously guys, enough with the fucking nominal and verb phrases names. It’s fucking retarded. Much like the lyrics to this song. Ambiguity isn’t cool, it just makes you sounds like a 13 year old slam poet on Xanax. It’s not that hard. Quit writing pseudo-poetic nonsense and make a point. What are you writing about here? You’re lost, you’re wandering through life? Well that’s great, what a fucking eye-opener man. You said one thing in two minutes and twenty seconds. Same old cliché bullshit that every other fucking asshole has said about the same fucking boring topic. No one gives a fuck, it’s called growing up, we all do it at one point or another. This is my fucking problem, you’ve got a stage, you have an audience but you spit in their faces by revealing absolutely nothing about yourself. You spend an entire song devoted to nothingness. Nothing here is profound, you just splatter some drivel out there and expect us to give a fuck, and we don’t. Anyway, let’s talk about the music… There’s some chugging, and some glitch, oh and some opens. Whatever, same old boring crap. I feel like if I listen... read more
Song Review: xWeedxwhackerx – “Say No To Drugs (Chicken Club)”

Song Review: xWeedxwhackerx – “Say No To Drugs (Chicken Club)”

Song: Say No To Drugs (Chicken Club) Band/Artist: xWEEDxWHACKERx Location: Bendigo Victoria Australia Date of Release: It was, yes. Don’t blame me for that. Genre: Comedeathcore or Nagrock. Reviewer: Ouroboris For Fans Of: Dad Jokes disguised as metal or serious whinging. Why They Aren’t Famous: Because they’re about as funny as Apartheid or if serious as about as challenging as a tea towel fight. A straight edge metal band? Why yes I’ll try that out. (flexes typing knuckles) To start with xWeedXWhackerX is either a joke band side project for Bendigo’s “Harrison Rule” or it really is some sort of metalcore band that is pushing an anti drug agenda. Which is probably going to be about as successful as the American EDM scene’s anti-drug house movement. The fact that his/their soundcloud is cleverly disguised enough that you can’t tell whether or not they’re a joke or serious is worth a few points right there. It’s either the one guy – a disturbing cross between every photo of a teenage girl on facebook and that mutant toddler Reece thing from Australian Idol or it’s an actual band. The soundcloud says “I do things” which is why I am suspicious about it being a one man project rather than a band. Doing some other deep investigation to solve this mystery. I looked at the facebook page for them and with band members with names like Ketamine Stevenson and Jon Bukake (sic). They may actually fancy themselves in the same league of comedy as Melbourne grind legends “Blood Duster”. Sadly this is not the case. Ok then the song. Let’s delay the... read more
Song Review: Second to Sun – “Land of the Fearless Birds”

Song Review: Second to Sun – “Land of the Fearless Birds”

“Over the years, I’ve been introduced to a few small progressive bands from Russia, and somehow, I’ve always been impressed by what I’ve heard. I don’t know why exactly this is; possibly because there is an ancient book hidden in Russia that is passed down from musician to musician entitled: “How Not to be Shit at Writing Prog””…

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Song Review: Actuality – “Perspective”

Song Review: Actuality – “Perspective”

Song: Perspective Band/Artist: Actuality Location: Launceston, Tasmania Date of Release: 7th February, 2015 Genre: Progressive Metal, Djent Reviewer: Erised (abuse me on twitter @Giaccattack) For Fans Of: Weirdly, Pantera sort of… But probably more the slew of other Djent bands around. Why they aren’t famous: Still quite a bit of work to do on their craft, plus I’ve heard the guitarist touches animals inappropriately… Good Lord. I once dated this girl when I was in high school, and she would play hopscotch with the good girlfriend line like you wouldn’t believe. She’d give the most epic blowjobs and then inexplicably use too much teeth just before the vinegar stroke, she’d go commando in public and then show other dudes instead of me. I dunno man, she was kind of cool but in the end I ended up ditching her for her older sister and then briefly her mum. Man that was a wild couple of nights, I can tell you! Where was I going with this? Oh yes! Right. The point is, this song is kind of like that. It has some hella sweet sections and then there’s parts that feel like i’m having the skin ripped off my penis very slowly with an adolescent girl’s braced teeth. So let us take a guided tour through this melange of mis-matched execution and concept, shall we? Well to start, I’ll do a brief run through of the technical elements. The guitarwork is pretty decent, going as far as to be outright hooky in quite a lot of places. The riff right at the start sounds kind of bizarre though, so... read more
Son Review: The Great City – “TCTFR, ATDTEI”

Son Review: The Great City – “TCTFR, ATDTEI”

Song: “The Courage to Face Reality, And the Desire to Escape It” Band: The Women You Saw Is The Great City That Rules Over The Kings Of The Earth [AKA The Great City] Location: Melbourne, Australia Date of Release: 27 October 2014 Genre: HolyFuckHowIsAnythingThisGood?core Reviewer: Judgement of Paris For Fans Of: La Dispute, El Monstro, Ghost Of A Thousand Why They Aren’t Famous: They should be; Pure and simple. “Let me tell you something; if Peter Jackson really wanted to blow me away with those Rings movies, then he would’ve ended the third one on the logical closure point, not the 25 endings that followed.” Randal Graves. This is the first thing that came to mind when I saw the track was nearly 10 fucking minutes long. As you can imagine, when reviewing tracks for IPHYB, you listen to the song a few times to really get to know the track, and pick out sections to rip a new asshole. With a song this long, this turned into an hour of this song on repeat. But that was one of the greatest hour’s of my life. The track itself changes momentum a decent amount of times, and each section is better than the last. I’m not a huge fan of monologues in music, and while it works with the song, I wouldn’t of missed it had it fallen on the cutting room floor. Guitars: incredibly interesting, and set an amazing backdrop to the song. While the progressions were predictable and simple, they were perfectly executed. I would of loved some heartfelt lead of some of the sections, but c’est... read more
Song Review: Polaris – “Unfamiliar”

Song Review: Polaris – “Unfamiliar”

Song: Unfamiliar Band/Artist: Polaris Location: Sydney, New South Wales Date of Release: 4th March, 2015 Genre: Progressive Metal/Djent Reviewer: Erised (abuse me on twitter @Giaccattack) For Fans Of: Monuments, Periphery, Erra Why they aren’t famous: Oh, they will be. You’ll see. Besides, they already sort of are anyway, or at least Ryan Siew is. Ho. Lee. Fuck. That was my immediate reaction to this track, and even now after about 25 listens, I’m still utterly gobsmacked by the sheer quality of EVERYTHING about it. If you want beef, you really won’t find it here so I suggest you go elsewhere, perhaps to your local butcher’s maybe. So strap yourself in while I shamelessly hype the living fuck out of this song, because quite frankly it’s exactly what I’ve been waiting for from these guys ever since I found out that Ryan Siew had joined them. This is actually going to be relatively short to be honest, because there isn’t much point in exhausting my extensive stock of superlatives on the technical elements, when it would be much easier for me to just point out that in that regard everything is just flawless. They are all supreme technicians, which is made only more disgusting by how fucking young they all are. Safe to say, everything is tighter than my jap’s eye, and I have a micropenis so that opening is tiny as fuck. Seriously, it’s like a micron wide. But I digress… It’s actually a testament to how good this is that I actively tried to ignore how schmick the production is in order to stop the “production swoon’” from... read more
SoulDoubt’s Brisbane Soundwave 2015 Wrap Up.

SoulDoubt’s Brisbane Soundwave 2015 Wrap Up.

Today I bring you my report on Soundwave 2015, which was both enlightening and disappointing. I’m going to touch on quite a few topics, ranging from the biggest dilemma of the weekend Slipknot Vs The Smashing Pumpkins, “The Bennies” and why you should be paying attention to them, the new discoveries like “He Is Legend”, and those regulars who never disappoint. Alright i’ll start at the top, I saw Slipknot on their last Soundwave tour, and I have been a fan for a lot of years, so do not misconstrue this as some long seeded dislike for the band. Their performance was atrocious in Brisbane, may your wounds be infected, and contaminated with maggots if you do not agree, the music was played accurately but their performance was choreographed, lacking in passion, venom, chaos and aggression; the most important parts of a Slipknot show. The furious 9 headed beast that WAS Slipknot has become a bloated arena rock outfit, with all the spontaneity of a bowl movement the morning after intoxication, similarly their “act” also left a bad taste in my mouth, like that sour burn in your throat, after passing out in a cheap whiskey haze. I was willing to roll the dice on 5: The Gray Chapter, a couple of decent tracks but largely a pale representation of their former glory, a cheap imitation of who they were. I now believe, I know what it felt like to be a Metallica fan in the tail end of 1991, trying to tell yourself maybe its just one album, just one bad tour, but no, unfortunately this is it,... read more

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