Reviews

Album Review: The Dali Thundering Concept – When X Met Y

Album Review: The Dali Thundering Concept – When X Met Y

Band: The Dali Thundering Concept Album: When X Met Y Location: Paris Release Date: 2016 Genre: Progressive metal, djent, mathcore Reviewer: Samuel Worsfold For Fans Of: The Dillinger Escape Plan, Veil of Maya, bands with more guitar strings then they really need I’ve probably pissed you off already by describing this band as “djent”, so if that did annoy you, I have quite a few more jokes lined up for this review so try not to cry too hard if and when I offend you. I first heard The Dali Thundering Concept back in 2014, when their glorious full-length Eyes Wide Opium first dropped and drove me headfirst into a wall of ambience and more “0-0-0-0-1-1-1-0-0’s” than I could shake a stick at. All jokes aside though, as this album was phenomenal to me (and without sounding as pretentious as the lyrics for ‘Astral Body’ by Between the Buried And Me), it took me on a journey. If you haven’t already checked out Eyes Wide Opium, do it NOW, and then go into hibernation for a couple of months to listen to it on repeat then come back to reading this review. Okay, so you liked it? If the answer was no then shhh, because you should read this review anyway of their remastered EP titled When X Met Y. So this EP came before the marvellous Eyes Wide Opium, but has since been remastered from its 2012 release, and even has a new bonus track which was recorded recently featuring a vast array of guest vocalists. This EP is actually quite different to the full-length, it sounds as... read more
Song Review: Metallica – ‘Hardwired’

Song Review: Metallica – ‘Hardwired’

Band: Metallica Song: Hardwired Genre: Metal \m/ Date of Release: 18th August, 2016 Reviewer: Chris Giacca For Fans Of: Other Metallica songs, Kill ‘Em All era Ahhh, yes. New Metallica time is always fun. The internet is a fantastic place to be, at this time of year. Right now, as I type this self indulgent wank out on my shitty laptop, people with less musical talent than James Hetfield has in one of his grey pubes are arguing about whether this is a glorious return to form, or just the latest in a long list of disappointments post-Justice. So, with that in mind, I’m going to add to the pile, and you’re going to sit there and read every word I have to say, like the good little pleb you are. Damn straight. So I’ll start off by saying that this song is evidence of several things. The first thing that it is undeniable, irrefutable proof of, is that Kirk Hammett needs to quit. He has had a well publicised battle with arthritis, and it really shows. St. Anger had no solos, and somehow, that was still preferable to Death Magnetic‘s pathetic offering of wah-laden, standard pentatonic abuse. I don’t know how someone goes from writing, say, the ‘Call of Ktulu’, or ‘Unforgiven’, or ‘Master of Puppets’ solos, to peddling out an increasingly bland palette of utter shit, but I wish he would fuck off already. This actually hurts, considering I hero worshipped the curly-headed fuck when I was a kid. Now, it seems like he is rocking up into the studio, and recording his solos with a dildo.... read more
Album Review: Storm The Sky – ‘Sin Will Find You’

Album Review: Storm The Sky – ‘Sin Will Find You’

Band: Storm The Sky Album: Sin Will Find You Genre: Alternative, post-hardcore Date of Release:5th August, 2016 Location: Melbourne, Victoria Reviewer: Chris Giacca For Fans Of: letlive, Issues, anonymous fucking Track Listing: 1. Second Best 3:08 2. Jaded Ghost 3:26 3. Carcinova 4:42 4. Medicine 4:23 5. Wake Up Sleeping 4:39 6. In Vein 4:05 7. Lilac 4:18 8. S.W.F.Y 3:31 9. Disappointed 3:14 10. Burning 6:21 Storm the Sky are back. They are now minus a pointless vocalist, but they are back, just the same. This album shows a marked divergence from their previous incarnation as a stock-standard post-hardcore band, and honestly, they are much the better for it. They have capitalised on the single best thing they have going for them – Will’s exceptional voice – and more or less jettisoned the detritus. However, this comes with a little bit of a caveat. The lyrics. Holy shit, seriously. I was actually really tempted to ditch reviewing this album, and just do a ’10 worst lyrics from Sin Will Find You‘ article, but I managed to restrain myself. Just. ‘Does it hold you back the way it breaks me that my baby is better than everything?’, for instance. Fucking hell. The whole album is full of super similar imagery, as if he ran out of metaphors two songs in. Hearts cold as ice, people fucking bed posts because the other person may as well not be there, bulk amounts of super edgy drug references, and an overarching theme of ‘I’m a piece of shit, but that’s pretty much all you deserve’ kind of gets old real quick. But... read more
Album Review: The Amity Affliction – This Could Be Heartbreak

Album Review: The Amity Affliction – This Could Be Heartbreak

Band: The Amity Affliction Album: This Could Be Heartbreak Genre: Post-hard-bore/metalcore Date of Release: 12th August, 2016 Reviewer: Chris Giacca For Fans Of: Listening to the exact same thing ad infinitum Hey kids! Today, I thought I’d have some fun and try out a concept I’ve been sitting on for a while, waiting for the exact right moment to bring it to fruition. In this review, I’m going to make a called shot. I’m going to review this new Amity Affliction album before actually listening to it. That’s right, don’t adjust your filth-encrusted screens, you read 100% correctly. I am so supremely confident that this album will be every bit as generic, formulaic, and terminally forgettable, that I am going to write the entire review, titles omitted of course, and then if any amendments are required, I will notate them at the bottom of the review. Sound like fun? No? Well get fucked, because I’m doing it anyway! Now, before I really get started, I just want to address something briefly. The Amity Affliction deal with criticism both terribly, and publicly. Both Joel and Ahren – read: the only two members anyone gives a shit about – have a history of totally pissing their giant knickers on Twitter, and it’s always funny. They typically accuse people of Tall Poppy Syndrome, which is hilarious. Newsflash: sometimes, people have valid points, and it doesn’t relate to how famous you are. Sometimes, when people say that all your songs sound the same, they are just telling the truth. Sometimes, it’s not so much Tall Poppy Syndrome, as it is I Listened To... read more
Album Review: Totally Unicorn – Dream Life

Album Review: Totally Unicorn – Dream Life

Band: Totally Unicorn Album: Dream Life Genre: Noisecore Date of release: 29/07/2016 Location: NSW, Australia Reviewer: Mitch Alexander For fans of: The Chariot, Norma Jean, dads Track Listing: 1. Old Cute & Purified (3:00) 2. Welcome To Slugtown (2:15) 3. April 29 Brothers (2:05) 4. Glow Of the Wine Teeth (1:29) 5. You Smell Like A Trophy (3:12) 6. Customer Service Station (2:00) 7. Borrow (2:28) 8. Part Time Model (2:57) 9. Space Congratulations (2:20) 10. Convict Brick (1:00) 11. Dream Life (3:07) This album is the sound of getting too drunk at a party full of people much younger than you, and realizing it. Totally Unicorn (full disclosure) have been my favourite live band in Australia for years, mostly due to the wild and drunken abandon of their lead singer Drew, the music being the perfect accoutrement to the spectacle. Everything they’ve done until now has been in service of The Party — their film clips are Tim And Eric-esque pisstakes of Parkway Drive. I once watched them perform in Wiggle’s skivvies while Drew stripped to his tie-dyed underwear, and the opening track of their EP was called “Ummmm … yeah we’re the gay Metallica.” With Dream Life, they’ve taken a slightly different tact. Instead of being the woeful “hangover/party’s over” album that they could’ve been (maybe) forgiven for writing, they’ve gone for the “oh shit I’m drinking from random beer bottles at a table full of strangers I don’t remember meeting” record. I’ll get to the songs and production in a minute (calm ya fuckin’ farm), but I don’t think I can overstate how great the mood... read more
Song Review: ‘Good Grief’ – Bastille

Song Review: ‘Good Grief’ – Bastille

Band: Bastille Song: ‘Good Grief’ Genre: Indie Pop Date of Release: 16th June 2016 Location: United Kingdom Reviewer: Khaleesi For Fans Of: Imagine Dragons, MGMT Bastille, one of my favourite bands, has finally released some new stuff for me to get overly excited for. Back in 2013 frontman Dan Smith and his friends Kyle, Woody, and Will released their first studio album Bad Blood and it remains to be one of my modern classics and a guilty pleasure of Ilija’s (yes, to this day, I am still proud of myself being the person to get a metal elitist like him onto an indie pop band like Bastille). I, personally have waited too long for them to release some new material, I could only listen to Bad Blood so many times before internally crying to myself ‘WHY HAVEN’T THEY RELEASED ANY MORE SONGS?!’ Finally, I got my wish. If I were to conveniently save you from reading a long-winded review and summarise my thoughts on ‘Good Grief’ in one sentence, it would be that this song is catchy as fuck. From the get-go you are given a groovy bassline and some nice percussion before you are treated to a little harmony before Dan begins to sing. Because I love upbeat songs so much, I instantly had a little dance in my car as I listened to the opening seconds of the song before awkwardly stopping when I realised that my car’s windows aren’t tinted. There were nice, smooth transitions from the somewhat subdued verses & bridges to what sounds like a massive production number during the choruses, particularly a great... read more
Album Review: Intercranial Tremors – Rebirth

Album Review: Intercranial Tremors – Rebirth

Band: Intercranial Tremors Album: Rebrith Genre: Brutal death metal, unlike that easy listening death metal Date of release: 25/04/16 Location: Melbourne Reviewer: Mitch Alexander For Fans Of: Early Cannibal Corpse, Obiturary, Deicide Track Listing: 1. Engineering The Chain Of Decay (04:36) 2. Animus (03:13) 3. Despondent Chorus Of The End (03:47) 4. Crown Of Creation (04:30) 5. Lord Of The F(lies) (04:30) It’s intra-, not inter-. Your cranial tremors are inside your head, they are not between them. Unless you mean that between two cranians there are tremors, in which case … that’s kinda cool, but the squiggly red line which is scattered throughout this review is still shitting me no end. Which, and I mean no disrespect, is pretty appropriate. This is a grimy, dirty, salacious death metal album, they type you’d hear in the background of an August Underground film. The sound of this CD has me going in circles; would Rebirth sound better with a nicer production, or is the reason it’s as good as it is because of the production? As always, like the vacuous arts graduate I am, I’ll say the truth lies somewhere in the middle and pat myself on the back for being so enlightened. On the one hand, the production misses the mark. There’s still too much room spill on the vocals, which are in turn too high in the mix. The drums are too clicky without any boom. The guitar has been mixed into a weird mid-range mush. But on the other side of the coin or whatever idiom I’m using, the vocals show a heap of promise, with some... read more
Live Review: Miazma @ The New Globe, Fortitude Valley (21/04/16)

Live Review: Miazma @ The New Globe, Fortitude Valley (21/04/16)

It was on the day of Thursday, the 21st of April in the year 2016, that the IPHYB gods from high atop Mt You’ll Coward handed down to two lowly reviewers, Dead Parrot and Noun The Plume, the task of reviewing death metal bands at The New Globe in Fortitude Valley. Such a trying task should never be attempted on an empty stomach, so our two intrepid reviewers met up beforehand at a sausage slinging house of ill repute to reinforce their guts with cured swine phalluses and tankards of ale laced in smoked swine hooves to discuss a strategy for the journey ahead. But more on that cured swine flesh later. Arriving at the venue, the usual scene of black-on-black attired metalheads were huddled in groups catching collective cancer in the clouds of their cigarette smoke. This was a breed of people that Dead Parrot was surprised still existed. There have been too many downgrades and offshoots from what these people would call “metaaaaal” (in that way they do when aggressively screaming it at a camera with the horns hand sign in every roving crowd shot on every band ever’s tour video … ever) for these people not to die out. Or, at least relegate their long black hair, torn up leather pants, and patch ridden denim jacket-vest to a shrine-o-glory-days in a small section of the garage and be staunched upon by the responsibility of life’s less broooooootal moments. Like nappy duties. Or paying a hooker to check your junk for the herpes because you’re too embarrassed to go to a doctor, even though she’s probably where... read more
Album Review: Cane Hill – Smile

Album Review: Cane Hill – Smile

Band: Cane Hill Album: Smile Genre: Metal, metalcore Date of Release: 15/07/2016 Location: New Orleans Reviewer: Laura Toft For Fans Of: Slipknot, Marilyn Manson Track Listing: 1. MGGDA 2. (The New) Jesus 3. True Love 4. St. Veronica 5. Fountain Of Youth 6. Cream Pie 7. You’re So Wonderful 8. Ugly Idol Mannequin 9. Screwtape 10. Strange Candy Remember that time your mate was like “Yeah, I’m in a metal band” and he sent you a track that was a 15 minute guitar solo with some terrible, terrible hard rock vocals? That’s definitely not what people mean when they describe Cane Hill as metal. Their debut album Smile keeps everything tight, meaning that it plays out as a clever, smug-core release that doesn’t emphasise skill but aggression, and in doing so, displays a show of talent that proves this band’s potential for greatness. From first track ‘MGGDA’ onwards, Smile is fierce without rest – filthy and fast guitars accompany smirking uncleans that you’d compare to Slipknot, or maybe even OTEP. On ‘(The New) Jesus’, Cane Hill are Depeche-Mode-gone-core, carrying out a rebellious extension of ‘Personal Jesus’, which points a middle finger to the idea of idolatry. They probably didn’t intentionally create that Depeche Mode link you make in your mind, but it’s evident nonetheless. There are a lot of tongue-in-cheek cultural references you can pick up on Smile, evident on ‘Fountain Of Youth’, which takes the concept of the good dying young and bolts off with it (in a far-from-cliché respect). And then there are the differentiated moments on Smile, where you’re pleasantly surprised that this record is more... read more
Album Review: Be’lakor – Vessels

Album Review: Be’lakor – Vessels

Band: Be’lakor Album: VESSELS Genre: Melodic death metal Location: Melbourne, Australia Date of Release: 24 June 2016 Reviewer: Luke Frizon For Fans Of: Mors Principum Est, Omnium Gatherum Concept albums are an enormous undertaking for the artist and for the listener to internalise. Often the “concept” is lost in the narrative, or the structure isn’t cohesive enough to let the story flow from one song into another. It’s incredibly difficult to create standalone songs that form the pillars of a larger work. Succeeding in this so effortlessly is what makes Be’lakor’s new record so impressive. VESSELS is a colossal record with an original yet somehow heartwarmingly familiar story to tell. The supreme songwriting talent these enigmatic and skilled musicians display only enhances the storyline. VESSELS takes the listener on a journey through time and space, growth, death, and evolution. Each song is a chapter which expands the story’s scope in a unique way, first from the perspective of travelling light, then from the matter it touches, and finally from the beings that interact with that matter. The narrative doesn’t just follow a path, it proliferates – deepening in complexity as creatures higher in the evolutionary chain take the stage. One aspect of these songs I deeply admire is that they perfectly reflect the mood of the lyrics. There’s enough room for each element to not only breathe, but to flourish. This is perfectly illustrated in standout track ‘Withering Strands’. While all songs are linked intrinsically, this one contrasts Be’lakor’s volatile and brutal nature with a more pensive side. Beginning with ethereal melodies, it sweeps into hook after hook with... read more

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