Brangelina’s Kid Likes Dad Metal, Kmart Metallica Shirt Sales Set To Rise

Brangelina’s Kid Likes Dad Metal, Kmart Metallica Shirt Sales Set To Rise
Maddox Jolie-Pitt has been spotted wearing several pieces of dad metal merchandise lately, prompting media outlets worldwide to congratulate Brangelina on their super progressive parenting skills. Apparently, in 2016, it is still commonplace to discourage your children from listening to music they enjoy. Who knew?

The young man has been spotted wearing a Slipknot hoodie, a Metallica hoodie, and a Slayer shirt in recent times, despite him clearly missing the memo that those bands are fucking awful.

Whilst we here at IPHYB congratulate the young upstart for wearing his band merch with pride, we humbly suggest he get some taste and rep a sick Cattle Decapitation singlet, or a hectic Burzum cutoff tee instead. Cheers.

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Brangelina’s Kid Likes Dad Metal, Kmart Metallica Shirt Sales Set To Rise
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Chris Giacca

Publisher at IPHYB
Chris Giacca just may be the worst writer in the world, but it doesn't matter because he probably still has a bigger audience than you, so he is by default automatically right about everything. No exceptions. He's currently writing a novel which will be uploaded in single chapter installments as spoken word on bandcamp. Physical releases will be on laser disc only, limited to 17 1/2 units. Don't ask about the half.

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