11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Silent Knight

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Silent Knight
Silent Knight, Perth’s foremost Yuletide-themed metal band, are an unknown quantity. That is to say, I’ve never heard of them, and given that they are from Perth, they very well may not actually exist. That being said, they might just be the best Iron Maiden cover band in the country. They may also be the only one, too, but that is a moot point. Here is Stu McGill‘s answers to our now infamous 11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands. Enjoy!

Do you have riffs? If not, why do you feel it is acceptable to constantly dog the boys?

Does chugging on the open E string count as a riff?

Why do the large majority of bands in your genre sound exactly the same as the bands in that genre ten years ago? Ever heard of progression? Or are you just happy to keep beating a dead horse before an ever dwindling audience?

I’d prefer to keep beating off a dead horse of course … oh wait, what?!

Can you give us a rundown of your gear? How much did that cost your mums?

Jackson guitars, Marshall Amps, Line 6 tones, Shure Wirelesses … If you ask my dad, his child support responsibilities paid for it, NOT my mum.

Do you actually think that breakdowns are a good songwriting technique or are you just pandering to the five kids in mosh shorts that stand in the middle of the room at your shows flailing their limbs about?

You have to please your crowd man, take away those five kids & what have you got left? Wives, girlfriends, and Tinder hookups who you lied to about being in a popular band to convince them to meet you.

How would you describe your sound without using the letter e?

Fast, furious, and good guitar solos for days.

How much have you gotten into Korn over the last six months?

Please allow my matching Adidas tracksuit to answer that question for you.

Are you beyond stoked to be making your next announcement?

So much so that I will drop vague daily bombs about it until the day comes when I find out Metallica’s management have actually blocked my emails so our co-headlining tour of the world won’t be coming true as per my wet dreams.

What’s the biggest crowd you have you ever played to and how did you handle the pressure of performing in front of ten people?

We’ve played some pretty mega crowds like Helloween, Black Label Society, or even Hammersonic in Jakarta but unfortunately, everyone was there just to see the headliners.

Which genre trend have you jumped on, and why is it 90’s fashion?

Because Pantera, duh!

Why do you guys still practice at your mum’s house?

Because my mum lives next door to a strip club and Wednesday is 1/2 price tipping dollars.

Does the bassist pitch or catch?

Why not both?! Ever seen that Human Centipede movie? Use your imagination.

Purchase their merch and shit HERE.

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Silent Knight
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Chris Giacca

Publisher at IPHYB
Chris Giacca just may be the worst writer in the world, but it doesn't matter because he probably still has a bigger audience than you, so he is by default automatically right about everything. No exceptions. He's currently writing a novel which will be uploaded in single chapter installments as spoken word on bandcamp. Physical releases will be on laser disc only, limited to 17 1/2 units. Don't ask about the half.

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