11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Caligula’s Horse

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Caligula’s Horse
Of all the bands in Brisbane, Caligula’s Horse sure are one of them. So with that in mind, we figured they would be an ideal candidate for the first installment of our new segment, 11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands. They’re the questions you never knew you wanted to ask, and probably still don’t even after they have actually been answered. So without further ado, here is vocalist Jim Grey‘s efforts. Bear in mind that if the questions don’t have any relevance to the band in question, we sincerely don’t give a fuck. Cheers.

Do you have riffs? If not, why do you feel it is acceptable to constantly dog the boys?

We’ve been known to have the odd riff. But sometimes the boys need a good doggin’, it’s good for them. Take that however you please.

Why do the large majority of bands in your genre sound exactly the same as the bands in that genre ten years ago? Ever heard of progression? Or are you just happy to keep beating a dead horse before an ever dwindling audience?

That’s our secret. We *literally are* a dead horse.

Can you give us a rundown of your gear? How much did that cost your mums?

The boys play Musicman JP7s, Fractal Axe FX, Mesa Simulclass 2:90, with Mesa cabs. It cost our mums a lifetime of disappointment and subsequent neglect.

Do you actually think that breakdowns are a good songwriting technique, or are you just pandering to the five kids in mosh shorts that stand in the middle of the room at your shows flailing their limbs about?

“You’ve never heard our music, have you?” he said, daily, without fail.

How would you describe your sound without using the letter e?

Progrssiv alternativ rock. Srsly though: fruit in a shit sandwich.

How much have you gotten into Korn over the last six months?

As an unabashed lifelong Korn fan, the new album sounds boss, so … heaps?

Are you beyond stoked to be making your next announcement?

We’re not only beyond stoked, we’re thrilled, honoured, over the moon, and can’t wait to share this news with our fans, who we love, are grateful for, couldn’t do this without, and are the reason we’re here today. We also believed in ourselves, stayed true to our dreams, pushed everything to the limit, and worked tirelessly to chase our life goals, somehow while cherishing the moment, taking time to smell the flowers, and living each day like it was our last. This next announcement is going to blow minds and melt faces, so get hyped, keep an ear to the ground, stay tuned, and spread the word.

What’s the biggest crowd you have you ever played to and how did you handle the pressure of performing in front of ten people?

Probably with Mastodon or Opeth, I just feel sorry for bands like that, you know? Going for so long and so unrecognised. I know at least 8/10 of that crowd were there to see us, so you have to feel for the guys having come so far for the dry handjob of 2/10 at best. The others might’ve just come in to get out of the rain.

Which genre trend have you jumped on, and why is it 90’s fashion?

Listen, I wear flannel because it suits my beard and top knot, OK? Not because of some trendy throwback, alright? And I didn’t spend hours sandpapering the knees of my jeans to come here and be insulted.

Why do you guys still practice at your mum’s house?

Well since the knee operation there’s really not much she can do about it anymore.

Does the bassist pitch or catch?

Dave mimes playing cricket. All the time. I’m not sure the metaphor stretches that far (and neither does Dave, believe me).

You can purchase their music HERE

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Caligula’s Horse
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Chris Giacca

Publisher at IPHYB
Chris Giacca just may be the worst writer in the world, but it doesn't matter because he probably still has a bigger audience than you, so he is by default automatically right about everything. No exceptions. He's currently writing a novel which will be uploaded in single chapter installments as spoken word on bandcamp. Physical releases will be on laser disc only, limited to 17 1/2 units. Don't ask about the half.

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