11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Black Rheno

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Black Rheno
Black Rheno are a huge misnomer, on account of none of them being black, or named ‘Rheno’. Personally, I would urge everyone to form a class action and sue them for false advertising, but considering they look like they would be hard pressed affording a pack of durries between them, that could prove pretty futile. To add insult to injury, they sent their drummer, Doug Martin, to answer our 11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands, so if the result is unintelligible gabble, you’ll understand why. Cheers.

Do you have riffs? If not, why do you feel it is acceptable to constantly dog the boys?

I don’t. I just play drums behind Nano’s riffs, but I’m sure there’s something he’s keeping from us. He is Spanish after all …

Why do the large majority of bands in your genre sound exactly the same as the bands in that genre ten years ago? Ever heard of progression? Or are you just happy to keep beating a dead horse before an ever dwindling audience?

1) We have created our own post-modern style “Shoe Soul”, so that’s irrelevant, and 2) If you know us, then you would know we love to beat anything dead in front of an audience. We just keep beating and beating until it bursts!

Can you give us a rundown of your gear? How much did that cost your mum?

Pearl Master’s Maple kit & Hardware, Zildjian/TRX cymbals, Cympad cymbal felts, and Inferno Music Blackbolt Sticks. My mum? Nothing at all. Though the one night I had at your mumma’s certainly funded a good chunk of it.

Do you actually think that breakdowns are a good songwriting technique or are you just pandering to the five kids in mosh shorts that stand in the middle of the room at your shows flailing their limbs about?

But of course, those kids tend to be a bit slow eh, they like it a bit basic, right?

How would you describe your sound without using the letter e?

Fucking groovin’.

How much have you gotten into Korn over the last six months?

I have not — the only good new Korn is on my fucken dinner plate.

Are you beyond stoked to be making your next announcement?

Oh yeah, the next one’s a cracker!

What’s the biggest crowd you have you ever played to and how did you handle the pressure of performing in front of ten people?

Ten people is a lot worse. You can really pick out the strange ones with those drooling lips and “I gotta have it” eyes.

Why do you guys still practice at your mum’s house?

We don’t, we practice at Housefox Studios in Brookvale. Plus your mum is always busy …

Does the bassist pitch or catch?

We don’t have a bassist, but if we did, they would be catching for sure.

You can buy their shit HERE

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Black Rheno
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Chris Giacca

Publisher at IPHYB
Chris Giacca just may be the worst writer in the world, but it doesn't matter because he probably still has a bigger audience than you, so he is by default automatically right about everything. No exceptions. He's currently writing a novel which will be uploaded in single chapter installments as spoken word on bandcamp. Physical releases will be on laser disc only, limited to 17 1/2 units. Don't ask about the half.

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