Album Review: Trap Them – Crown Feral

Album Review: Trap Them – Crown Feral

Band: Trap Them Album: Crown Feral Genre: You wouldn’t get it man Date Of Release: 23/09/2016 Location: Boston + Seattle Reviewer: Mitch Alexander For Fans Of: Converge, Day Nineteen: Fucking Viva by Trap Them, The Armed Track Listing: 1. Kindred Dirt 2. Hellionaires 3. Prodigala 4. Luster Pendulums 5. Malengines Here, Where They Should Be 6. Speak Nigh 7. Twitching In The Auras 8. Revival Spines 9. Stray of the Tongue 10. Phantom Air The first two minutes of this album had me worried. “The only groups who should get ‘introspective’ or ‘pensive’ on later releases are the ones who warned you on previous occasions that they might, like Opeth or Carly Rae Jepsen. A rollicking nihilist grind powerviolence hardcore/whatever band like Trap Them have no business being thoughtful!”, I proudly thought to myself as I festered in my unwashed Nails longsleeve, the one that’s the Joy Divison mountain-range shirt for super cool people who like deliberately shit mixes. Turns out I was too busy enjoying being a smug and self-indulgent Ballou Bro, because after about three minutes and four songs into the album, I realised that not only had Trap Them not turned into that band (it was just a misstep of an opening track), but that maybe they should have. All the elements are in place for me to love this CD. I have adored everything Trap Them have done before this; the song ‘Day 19’ is a work of art, the lyrics are actual poetry, and I will throat punch any uncouth swine who disagrees. I don’t think any other band has ever really gotten the...
Song Review: Aspens – “Broken Body”

Song Review: Aspens – “Broken Body”

Song: “Broken Body” Band: Aspens Location: Castle Rock, CO, ‘Murica Release Date: August 27, 2015 (because MM/DD/YYYY is how we do it in the free world) Genre: Hardcore punk Reviewer: Sam For Fans Of: Beartooth, flailing aimlessly in mosh pits Why They Aren’t Famous: This is their first album; they need time to mature as musicians and songwriters. Some of you might have noticed there’s a new face reviewing this song, and if you’re really keeping tabs on this website so closely that you have all of the authors’ names memorized, then allow me to applaud you and kindly ask you to stay away from me at the same time. I am a new face, though. I’m Sam, a sarcastic asshole from the United States with a passion for music and writing pretty. I’ll be one of the guides helping you tour the wonderful museum of sound that is I Probably Hate Your Band. Our first stop on the tour is the first band I’ve been assigned to review: Aspens, a hardcore band from Colorado. The band is made up of three hipster-looking guys from the middle of nowhere in a state that legalized marijuana; if first impressions count for anything, this should be interesting. On that note, my first impression of the song “Broken Body”, the second single off of their upcoming album, is that the band totally forgot they were recording. It fades in with a whopping 24 seconds of metronome, guitar feedback, and seat rustling. It seems like a small gripe, but if my math is correct (it usually isn’t), that’s 10 percent of the song...
Song Review: “3am” – Bitter Lungs

Song Review: “3am” – Bitter Lungs

Song: “3am” Band/Artist: Bitter Lungs Location: Murwillumbah NSW Australia Date of Release: 16/10/2014 Genre: Hardcore Punk Reviewer: Ouroboros For Fans Of:Toe To Toe, Mid Youth Crisis, Bands that sounds like Toe To Toe Why Aren’t They Famous:They’re from Murwillumbah. Do you know where that is? didn’t think so. BU BOW BOW!! DUGGUGUGUGUGUGUGUGA!! BU BU BOW BA BOOOW!!!! Yep. Hardcore Punk. The Australian way. Opening riff conjures images of massive guys with tattoos giving finger signs, while fish eye lens shots cut to more tattooed teenagers skateboarding at the local ramps as the band clad in backward caps with Cro-Mags and Madball stickers plastered on their guitars, grimace through their riffs like they’re plunging a public toilet in a curry house. the vocalist fists himself (To use a Murwah term) in the face with the microphone with the cord wrapped around his knuckles Rollins style. Yes? You thought that when you heard it too? No? I’m just being a bitch? OK then. Well that’s what I could hear because the sounds of Australian Hardcore Punk always evoke the same sort of imagery and lyrical gob smiting that bands like Toe To Toe made into a template for this style. Not that that is a bad thing mind you. Bitter Lungs like the hundreds of bands that have taken influence from both The Oz and international hardcore punk scenes probably love all that imagery and romanticism about it. It seems like they do. So barreling into the introductory riff before freight training through the first verse. Bitter Lungs make these intentions clear. One thing you can usually rely on for bands with this flavour...