Album Review: Trap Them – Crown Feral

Album Review: Trap Them – Crown Feral

Band: Trap Them Album: Crown Feral Genre: You wouldn’t get it man Date Of Release: 23/09/2016 Location: Boston + Seattle Reviewer: Mitch Alexander For Fans Of: Converge, Day Nineteen: Fucking Viva by Trap Them, The Armed Track Listing: 1. Kindred Dirt 2. Hellionaires 3. Prodigala 4. Luster Pendulums 5. Malengines Here, Where They Should Be 6. Speak Nigh 7. Twitching In The Auras 8. Revival Spines 9. Stray of the Tongue 10. Phantom Air The first two minutes of this album had me worried. “The only groups who should get ‘introspective’ or ‘pensive’ on later releases are the ones who warned you on previous occasions that they might, like Opeth or Carly Rae Jepsen. A rollicking nihilist grind powerviolence hardcore/whatever band like Trap Them have no business being thoughtful!”, I proudly thought to myself as I festered in my unwashed Nails longsleeve, the one that’s the Joy Divison mountain-range shirt for super cool people who like deliberately shit mixes. Turns out I was too busy enjoying being a smug and self-indulgent Ballou Bro, because after about three minutes and four songs into the album, I realised that not only had Trap Them not turned into that band (it was just a misstep of an opening track), but that maybe they should have. All the elements are in place for me to love this CD. I have adored everything Trap Them have done before this; the song ‘Day 19’ is a work of art, the lyrics are actual poetry, and I will throat punch any uncouth swine who disagrees. I don’t think any other band has ever really gotten the...
Song Review: Writhe – “Malice”

Song Review: Writhe – “Malice”

Band: WRITHE Song: ‘Malice’ Genre: Falsegrind/poserviolence Date of Release: 03/01/2016 Location: Hobart Reviewer: Dongslurper For Fans Of: NAILS, Trap Them, All Pigs Must Die, Dead In The Dirt, Southern Lord There’s a funny thing happening in hardcore at the moment. Long sleeve shirt sales are up, bands are starting to play fast again, and BOSS HM-2 pedals are nigh on impossible to find at a reasonable price. Californian quartet NAILS have made their mark and a million clones have formed in their wake, playing down-tuned, dumbed down death metal riffs over d-beat or alternating blasts and calling it grindcore (or falsegrind, as it’s known to elitist scum such as myself). On a completely related note – here’s WRITHE. WRITHE represents a style that has been done to death over the last couple of years. Thanks to NAILS’ writing formula and Kurt Ballou’s very helpful series of recording how-to videos on YouTube, the sound became very beige very quickly. And, as is the case with all styles in which the bands strive to achieve the exact same sound, there isn’t a lot of wiggle room for creativity within the first couple of years. WRITHE suffers the same folly. Now, sardonic views of the genre aside, it’s important to note that this song was written and recorded in a day. In fact, the whole five song EP was written and recorded in a day, which was a personal challenge that the one-man band set for himself. And for what it is, it’s fucking awesome. This dude is an absolute beast. In a single day, WRITHE has created what would surely take...
Song Review: Crease – “419”

Song Review: Crease – “419”

Song: “419” Band: CREASE Location: Fucking Canada, again. (Medicine Hat, Alberta. Yes, there’s actually a place in the world called Medicine Hat. No wonder they play grindcore.) Date of Release: 1950 Genre: Grindcore Reviewer: Welmanshire For Fans Of: Music from the balls Why They Aren’t Famous: The scene in Medicine Hat has really dropped off the last few years. I know I tend to rip on a lot of bands for recording faux pas – whether it be butt-explodingly loud bass, as in my last review – but I would hate to give the impression that I hold the quality of a recording as paramount to a good song. Any dummy knows that a genre of music calls for a particular level of production. Poorly produced pop, for example, doesn’t exist because there was never a need for it. Pop never had to fight to reach mainstream success – it’s born there by default. “Starving pop artist” is not so much a thing as, “starving punk rocker/grindcore/death metal etc”. It’s these genres; punk, hardcore, grindcore, death metal – that for a long time remained in the underground, and as a result home recordings and generally poor quality, washed out excuses for songs wound up on bootleg tapes, and other things from the 1960’s, or whatever, because it was the only way you could access the music aside from going to a show. Fast-forward to today with amazing advances in technology such as the iPhone, twist-top beer, floral shirts and treated pine, we have also welcomed an advancement of recording capabilities for music and access to equipment cheaper than ever. You can record...
EP: Avian Terror – “Demo 2015”

EP: Avian Terror – “Demo 2015”

EP: Demo 2015 Band: Avian Terror Location: Sydney, NSW Date of Release: 4/5/2015 Genre: Grindcore Reviewer: Dead Set Dave For Fans Of: Anal Cunt, Napalm Death Why They Aren’t Famous: It’s a genre that almost no one likes, even its most die-hard fans. Listening to grindcore is a lot like paying someone to torture you – if you enjoy the experience someone hasn’t done their job properly. And Avian Terror have done their fucking job. My neighbours have a kid, and this kid is annoying, always screaming and crying. Running up my driveway. It fucking sucks, no one wants to hear any child make any noise ever. Fuck that shit. Anyway, my point is, that I played this demo really loud and it drowned out the horrible noises that leak in through the various crevices at the front of my house. The musicality of the group is reasonably impressive – grind can be hard as if anyone tries to show off their chops too much it stops the song dead – Avian Terror don’t really have this problem. Every song is a wall of noise – it’s an unrelenting carpet-bombing of your eardrums – and that’s the way it’s meant to be. The drumming is fast and tight, but it’s also playful enough to keep the vibe in the right place. Some of this is helped by the fact that the production is very low-fi, and I don’t mean that as an insult. This sounds like it was made for tape, born to be blasted from boom boxes and from Walkmans. The guitar has a great tone, but it...
Song Review: Home Video of Oprah Winfrey Crying Into a Lean Cuisine – ‘SCOOBYDOO’

Song Review: Home Video of Oprah Winfrey Crying Into a Lean Cuisine – ‘SCOOBYDOO’

Song review: SCOOBYDOO Band: HOME VIDEO OF OPRAH WINFREY CRYING INTO A LEAN CUISINE Location: Ontario, Canada Date of Release: 2nd August 2014 Genre: Shitgrind Reviewer: Thall Grindcore, Scooby-Doo, Oprah Winfrey, Capital Letters, Whitney Houston, Samples, Gutturals, LOUD NOISES. It looks amazing on paper. It sounds even better in your ears. These guys crafted their Facebook page like two days ago. I am the fourth person to like the page. When first upon gazing in this in the pile, it was fresh in the group. I just had to share this to you all. This is groundbreaking material. From all the generic metalcore, from all the shit that bands from Perth give us, from all the bands that suck up to us in the submissions folder and then cry when we give them a shit rating. There are bands like these that we crave for… and that band is HOME VIDEO OF OPRAH WINFREY CRYING INTO A LEAN CUISINE. This is perfection From the drums, from the clean vocals to the beautiful lyrics – this is groundbreaking material. I don’t think I could ever understand what music was before this came into my life. The music after the sample starts off with a count-in from the hi-hat. Like who would’ve even thought doing that? Then the snare does some little fill thing before the vocals come in. Now that’s what I call a fucking build up. Holy shit. The vocals come in, they are so powerful you can’t even hear the other instruments. This guy can really store quite a scream. I love the part where he says ‘Scooby’....
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