Album Review: Storm The Sky – ‘Sin Will Find You’

Album Review: Storm The Sky – ‘Sin Will Find You’

Band: Storm The Sky Album: Sin Will Find You Genre: Alternative, post-hardcore Date of Release:5th August, 2016 Location: Melbourne, Victoria Reviewer: Chris Giacca For Fans Of: letlive, Issues, anonymous fucking Track Listing: 1. Second Best 3:08 2. Jaded Ghost 3:26 3. Carcinova 4:42 4. Medicine 4:23 5. Wake Up Sleeping 4:39 6. In Vein 4:05 7. Lilac 4:18 8. S.W.F.Y 3:31 9. Disappointed 3:14 10. Burning 6:21 Storm the Sky are back. They are now minus a pointless vocalist, but they are back, just the same. This album shows a marked divergence from their previous incarnation as a stock-standard post-hardcore band, and honestly, they are much the better for it. They have capitalised on the single best thing they have going for them – Will’s exceptional voice – and more or less jettisoned the detritus. However, this comes with a little bit of a caveat. The lyrics. Holy shit, seriously. I was actually really tempted to ditch reviewing this album, and just do a ’10 worst lyrics from Sin Will Find You‘ article, but I managed to restrain myself. Just. ‘Does it hold you back the way it breaks me that my baby is better than everything?’, for instance. Fucking hell. The whole album is full of super similar imagery, as if he ran out of metaphors two songs in. Hearts cold as ice, people fucking bed posts because the other person may as well not be there, bulk amounts of super edgy drug references, and an overarching theme of ‘I’m a piece of shit, but that’s pretty much all you deserve’ kind of gets old real quick. But...
Song Review: ‘Good Grief’ – Bastille

Song Review: ‘Good Grief’ – Bastille

Band: Bastille Song: ‘Good Grief’ Genre: Indie Pop Date of Release: 16th June 2016 Location: United Kingdom Reviewer: Khaleesi For Fans Of: Imagine Dragons, MGMT Bastille, one of my favourite bands, has finally released some new stuff for me to get overly excited for. Back in 2013 frontman Dan Smith and his friends Kyle, Woody, and Will released their first studio album Bad Blood and it remains to be one of my modern classics and a guilty pleasure of Ilija’s (yes, to this day, I am still proud of myself being the person to get a metal elitist like him onto an indie pop band like Bastille). I, personally have waited too long for them to release some new material, I could only listen to Bad Blood so many times before internally crying to myself ‘WHY HAVEN’T THEY RELEASED ANY MORE SONGS?!’ Finally, I got my wish. If I were to conveniently save you from reading a long-winded review and summarise my thoughts on ‘Good Grief’ in one sentence, it would be that this song is catchy as fuck. From the get-go you are given a groovy bassline and some nice percussion before you are treated to a little harmony before Dan begins to sing. Because I love upbeat songs so much, I instantly had a little dance in my car as I listened to the opening seconds of the song before awkwardly stopping when I realised that my car’s windows aren’t tinted. There were nice, smooth transitions from the somewhat subdued verses & bridges to what sounds like a massive production number during the choruses, particularly a great...
Song Review: Caosarea – ‘Cannon Fodder’

Song Review: Caosarea – ‘Cannon Fodder’

Band: Caosarea Song: ‘Cannon Fodder’ Genre: Tradie Prog, Alt-Rock Date of Release: 06/01/2016 Location: Sydney Reviewer: Chemikarl For Fans Of: Karnivool, Dead Letter Circus, Creed, Hoobastank Quick. Think of a band name. You have five seconds. It doesn’t have to be very good. You just have to name one. Go ahead. Pink Floyd? Sonic Youth? Led Zeppelin? They’re all stupid as shit. But none of them are as shit as “Caosarea”. It sounds like a five year old made it up. It has no fucking meaning. If you’re going to be a tragic band with a nonsense name, at least follow in the footsteps of pioneers of mediocrity, Hoobastank, and make it obvious how you’re meant to pronounce it. I can’t figure “Caosarea” out though. Is it ‘chaos-area’? ‘Cayoss-ah-ria’? ‘Cassowary’? Who the fuck knows. Who the fuck cares? Not me. Not you. Because frankly, there’s not much on offer with this one. Caosarea describe themselves as “alternative rock”, but I’m uncertain as to what they’re alternative to, unless it’s “good music”. They try to play around with the whole quiet-loud dynamic, but the quiet parts end up so uneventful I’m sure nobody much would tell the difference if they just left gaping sections of silence in their tracks instead. The heavy parts offer a little more to chew on – that is, if you’re a fan of hearing distortion so farty that I’m wondering if Caosarea just decided to skip out on guitar tracking altogether and use an iPhone recording of a twelve year-old kid they found at Guitar Factory wailing on a $50 no-name guitar (with one pickup...
Song Review: No Gravity – “Beneath the Dirt”

Song Review: No Gravity – “Beneath the Dirt”

Band: No Gravity Song: Beneath the Dirt Genre: Alternative rock, electronic rock, synthpop Date of Release: March 2nd, 2014 Location: Bratislava, Slovakia Reviewer: Sam For Fans Of: The Killers, The Bravery “Why?” You might be asking. “Why review a song from 2014? Why review a band from Slovakia? Why review a genre you barely listen to?” Well, my reasoning is rather simple and shared with many other great men and women throughout human history: curiosity. As you probably don’t know, I’m a fairly devoted fan of the Howard Stern Show. Back in 2007, No Gravity was in New York City promoting themselves on a public access TV show called “Hugs For Harlem”. During this fateful appearance, they were subject to one of the funniest prank calls ever perpetuated (done in part by legendary death metal drummer and Stern staffer Richard Christy). Naturally, this got me curious. Obviously, a band who promotes itself on a second-rate public access show probably won’t be very good, but just how bad could they really be? I did some research, found the “music band”, as they call themselves (their English isn’t great), and popped on their latest single. I immediately asked myself the same question I started this review with: why? Why would someone make music like this? Why would said music sound like this? Why the hell am I still listening to it? It’s pretty clear that No Gravity is going for a 2005 synthpop Bravery-type vibe, but (perhaps thanks to their Slavic roots) it comes across as a cheap Eastern European competitor product which tries so hard to be like its Western...
Song Review: Gone Dead Train – “Fuhgeddaboudit”

Song Review: Gone Dead Train – “Fuhgeddaboudit”

Band: Gone Dead Train Song: ‘Fuhgeddaboudit’ Genre: Alt Country/Pop Date of Release: 29/01/2015 Location: UK/France Reviewer: 5StringSamurai For Fans Of: The Eagles and Dire Straights (without the good guitar) The Yakuza are rumoured to be the descendants of ronin samurai. Without Daimyos or lords to govern them and provide a steady income, they often resorted to offering ‘protection’ to local business, getting involved in gambling and muscling a cut from any shady activities that occurred within their territories. Their western counterparts are referred to as ‘gangsters’, and while they come in all colours and creeds, the most famous are known as the Mafia. Characteristically, men of Italian descent with tailored suits, slicked back hair, quick tempers, and loose morals. Just the thought of them makes my sword thirst for blood. Whilst I might despise these criminals and how they prey upon the weak and defenceless, there is one quality that I admire about them. They’re fucking cool. Who hasn’t watched such classics as The Godfather, Ichi the Killer, or Young and Dangerous and not felt some affinity for these murderous, law breaking characters? This is perhaps why they are the focus of so many movies, television shows, and in this case, music. ‘Fuhgeddaboudit’ – the catchphrase of the mafioso and the title of this song means to let go of or disregard something. How apt. Plodding through a progression of predictable bass notes and throwaway blues rock guitar chords, there’s not much in the song to excite the listener. There is a constant tinkering of the ivories which adds some intricacy to the otherwise bland structure, but it stays...
EP Review: Brooks – ‘Spooks’

EP Review: Brooks – ‘Spooks’

Album: Spooks Band: Brooks Location: Marlton, NJ Date of Release: 21/11/15 Genre: Alternative Reviewer: Grass-Man For Fans Of: Disappointment Why They Aren’t Famous: Lost the mojo between releases It’s been a while since I have reviewed anything for IPHYB. I’ve been enjoying my time in semi-retirement from the page and being able to sit back and enjoy the content the current (active) crew have been churning out. It’s not always easy telling it how it is to musicians – the ego is always strong, and most of the time an attempt at providing constructive criticism comes across as a personal attack. And why wouldn’t it? Since the first time you’ve picked up the instrument of choice you’ve had some spineless dickhead telling you how amazing you are when in fact, you fucking suck! Feelings get hurt, egos get bruised, big words and lengthy, overly thought-out replies get thrown about in the comment sections directed back at the reviewers (as if we give a fuck) and, at the end of the day, the majority of you continue to write shit music and be completely fucking oblivious to it. And if you aren’t writing shit house fucking music, then you are most certainly listening to it. Why? Because you’re a bunch of fucking sheep who are more concerned about what music your BFF is listening to and flicking your bean to that instead, rather than exploring the endless amount of music at your disposal and liking something because you like it, not what your fucking bae is into or whatever shit fucking word you bunch of dropkick muppets use these days....
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