Apple Launches New Streaming service, Trent Reznor Joins Forbes Rich List

Apple Launches New Streaming service, Trent Reznor Joins Forbes Rich List

Apple launched its new streaming service on June 8th in San Francisco, with a video starring prominent musician and anti-establishmentarian Trent Reznor included in the presentation. Set to rival streaming icons Spotify and Pandora, Apple Music combines streaming, a 24/7 radio station, and Instagram and Tumblr like applications that allow users to connect with artists. The latter feature, titled ‘Connect’, was introduced by Degrassi: The Next Generation actor Aubrey Graham. “Yeahya..Uh..I’m a real nigga” Graham was quoted as saying. Apple have championed the release, claiming it will be a ‘revolutionary streaming service’, and a ‘complete’ experience for consumers. In the video, Trent Reznor explains “…it’s a place to accommodate all the artists – not just the top tier artists; the kids in their bedroom, and provide a home for them to engage with their audiences” Although it’s unclear if CEO Tim Cook is too preoccupied with altruistic pursuits such as giving away his entire fortune to charity to realise that Spotify do exactly that, really well; with a reported aim to the appropriate some of the market share dominated by their contemporaries, it remains to be seen if it will be as successful as Apple’s previous ventures when launched worldwide on June 30. In related news, Trent Reznor has reportedly purchased a $32 million dollar mansion on the French Riviera. The home, rumoured to be shared with Bono, John Lyndon, Billie Joe Armstrong, and several other musicians of unquestionably strong musical integrity, includes an Olympic-sized swimming pool, recording studio, and state of the art Flagellation room. You can watch Trent Reznor sell his soul...
Song: Evertheless – “Broken Teeth”

Song: Evertheless – “Broken Teeth”

Song: “Broken Teeth” Band: Evertheless Location: Birmingham, Alabama, United States Date of Release: 02/06/2015 Genre: Metalcore Reviewer: Welmanshire For Fans Of: Nescafé, Architects, Unthickened cream. Why They Aren’t Famous: Because Sam Carter’s not dead yet. 2005 – Somewhere in the United States: Tim Lambesis sits proudly at the head of the long, mahogany table. He sways in his oversized leather chair; confidently surveying the attendees, satisfied in his choice of personnel. A strong group – innovative, musically accomplished and devoted to the cause. Tim forcefully slams the gavel down – rumoured to be crafted from the penis of an enchanted Archaeocete – and the collection of tattooed men scramble from their chairs, eager to appease the imposing, yet magical figure. “Cunts. I’ve asked you to come here today, because you are the best of the best. We are here to make a pact. We will proudly carry the mantle of our genre for years to come. With our unique blend of metal, the world will undoubtedly be ours! Ohhhh I love Jesus! I HATE my wife!” Tim, now standing, waves the enchanted Archaeocete dick-gavel back and forth in a violent fashion, laughing maniacally. The group exchange confused glances and let out a collective yet tentative “I-I!” in compliance. “I promise I’ll do everything I can, Mr. Lambesis!” shouts Matthew Tuck from the opposite end of the table, pimply faced and greasy-haired. “Will there be snacks?” asks M. Shadows, adorned in signature aviator sunnies and a cut-off JD shirt. The group begins to chat excitedly amongst themselves, feeling blessed to be at the very forefront of such a revolutionary musical...
Parkway Drive release new song ‘Vice Grip’

Parkway Drive release new song ‘Vice Grip’

Parkway Drive have upped the hype of their upcoming fifth album with the release of a brand new song ‘Vice Grip’ today. The song shows the possibility of a new direction from the Byron Bay legends, with a heavy glam rock and 80’s vibe dominating the mix. “They just wanted to do something different. They’ve loved glam for ages – it’s got nothing to do with us. Please let us get back to this custard before it gets warm,” Epitaph records marketing managers Phyllis Strongtits and Richard Soda were quoted as saying, whilst drinking a carton of thick custard and making out with it still in their mouths. The band has reportedly backed the labels statement. Glam rock has seen a resurgence in recent years, with the release of Too Much Rock n’ Roll by Australian Glam pioneers Rabbit. In 1976. Parkway will also be releasing limited edition tight-stuffers with a painfully non-ironic limited edition vinyl release of the album. When asked if the tight-stuffers were simply bundles of socks bound with masking tape, the band were unavailable for comment. You can watch the clip in all it’s fire-exploding, skydiving glory...
Skrillex: Hate the Game, Not the Player

Skrillex: Hate the Game, Not the Player

From First to Last recently released their first album in over five years, which got me thinking about the band, as well as their most famous ex-member, Skrillex. When Sonny Moore left From First to Last in 2005, a bootleg EP made up of various electro recordings leaked online. I had a burnt copy given generously to me by the most lovely yet covetable emo babe at my high school and absolutely adored it. That’s how we did it back in the glory days of Optical Disc Authoring – burning CD’s, for the commoner. You went out, bought a stack of blank CD’s, spent valuable time putting that shit onto disc – then you would actually have to see this person in real life and give them a palpable, physical object. Forget about indolently sending a YouTube lyric video of the new As I Die Bleeding and Bloody and Real Dead song to your buddy that you were too lazy to even listen to, Whippersnapper. Ah, the nostalgia. Every night after All Saints and before Blue Heelers, I would spin that faceless silver disc on my Philips portable; aspiring with grandeur to become a sub-par midi player in my own right, releasing muffled recordings of blips and beeps and vocalised “OOOOoooo”s just like my mascara-donning teen emo idol. I keenly followed Sonny’s progress, eagerly anticipating an official, high-quality release. I waited. And waited. Occasionally a remixed track would appear on YouTube or an obscure Micronesian music website, but no new material ever surfaced. I was saddened for perhaps a week; until I explored the genre of electronic music as...