Song Review: Honest Crooks – ‘Tormented’

Song Review: Honest Crooks – ‘Tormented’

Band: Honest Crooks Song: Tormented Genre: Hardcore/Beatdown Date of Release: 18/11/2015 Location: Tamworth, NSW/Canberra, ACT Reviewer: Blaise For Fans Of: The Acacia Strain, Black Tongue, No Zodiac When I first noticed the length of this song I shuddered in revulsion. A five minute-long beatdown track? That’s an entire grindcore album right there. No thanks, I think I’ll stick to my short and sweet breakdowns, dickheads. As to be expected, this was a typical hardcore/beatdown affair, complete with breakdowns, never-ending bass, and guttural, cookie monster vocals. Honest Crooks bring nothing new to a worn out, dried up (imagine your grandmother’s vagina) genre – and it shows. There are definitely issues with this song, such as the 64 second-long outro consisting of nothing but boring guitar distortion. What the actual fuck is up with that? Turn your fucking amp off and finish the recording. Another problem was that ‘Tormented’ starts off with a bit of an Acacia Strain-esque intro, but unfortunately doesn’t come off quite as effectively and is ruined by some stupid ego boosting Jason Derulo style shout out about who they are, as if I can’t read the video title on Youtube. Then again, most beatdown fans are probably illiterate fucks anyway, so maybe it is appropriate for their fan base. The worst was the shit solo about halfway through, it was like something Kerry King dreamed up and then threw into a blender. If I wanted something more technical I’d listen to Whoretopsy – it should’ve been cut out. The vocals were generally deep except for the occasional awkward sound that I can only imagine is some dismal...
Song Review: Split Feed – ‘Lucky People’

Song Review: Split Feed – ‘Lucky People’

Band: Split Feed Song: ‘Lucky People’ Genre: Angsty-I-Don’t-Get-The-World Rock Date of Release: January 18, 2016 Location: Newcastle, Australia Reviewer: The Chairman For Fans Of: Facebook posts, tweets about school, and their shitty minimum wage job I have to admit this song started off like it was from a plucky bunch of young rockers looking to make their mark in the Australian music scene. It began with a very catchy guitar hook in one of my favourite genres of pop-punk, with a deliciously filthy but clean guitar tone. Making its way through my cerebral cortex, my eyebrows rose in both surprise and hope. Oh dear, did it end quickly though. As the nasally lead singer nasals his nasalness through the nasally lyrics, I read through the first verse, then the chorus, and so on, only to realise what a lost opportunity this was. The listener, being me of course, is treated to the unintelligent whinings of what we can only assume to be a sulky, post-high school nitwit, still caught up on the idea that social status actually matters in places beyond the schoolyard. I can just see this kid (emphasis on kid) writing five posts a day about groundbreaking discoveries such as, “Just tasted sour cream and chives Grain Waves. How did I not know about these before?” and, of course, “Job interviews suck, fuck the man but I need money”. And, all of this is happening whilst these lads are at the local anywhere in particular, never diverting attention from their phones for more than 30 seconds. Okay, I need to stop myself before this becomes a social...
Song Review: Future Corpse – ‘Cyber Vegan’

Song Review: Future Corpse – ‘Cyber Vegan’

Band: Future Corpse Song: Cyber Vegan Genre: Heavy Prog / Progressive Metal / Post-Hardcore Date of Release: 02/10/2016 Location: Melbourne Reviewer: Chemikarl For Fans Of: Between the Buried and Me, SikTh, Protest the Hero Modern “heavy” prog as a whole has, of late, been an almost depressingly conservative subgenre. Be it the fickle commercial aspect of the music industry in the 2010s or the infamous close-mindedness of fans of heavy music, especially metal, in embracing new ideas or sonic evolution, we’ve been at a dearth of new and interesting ideas for a while now. Dream Theater and their “traditional prog” disciples continue to put out the same power-metal-meets-Yes concept albums, while djent titans like Tesseract choose to build a prison of their own with off-time open chugs and processed atmospheric loops. Put simply, heavy prog needs a saviour. Enter Future Corpse. I’ll be blunt: they’re not the redemptive leap forward heavy prog so desperately needs. But goddamn it, in five years’ time they just might grow to be, and that gets me excited as fuck. By far the most obvious comparison Future Corpse are going to receive from new fans is to Between The Buried And Me. However, while Between The Buried And Me have the temerity to assume needlessly schizophrenic time and genre changes are tantamount to interesting songwriting, Future Corpse take a much more restrained, structured route, and are all the better for it. That’s not to say there isn’t a metric fuckton of sonic variation – the guitars alone in this track jump back and forth from single-note noodle fests that bring to mind a burlier,...
EP Review: Giant Gutter From Outer Space – ‘Set Adrift’

EP Review: Giant Gutter From Outer Space – ‘Set Adrift’

Band: Giant Gutter From Outer Space EP: Set Adrift Genre: Instrumental Experimental Stoner Metal Date of Release: 02/10/2015 Location: Curitiba, Brazil Reviewer: 5StringSamurai For Fans Of: Behold The Arctopus, Jesus Lizard Track Listing: 1. Set Adrift 2. Sprawl 3. Euphoria 4. In Spite Of All 5. Sehnsucht In the world of weapons the sword is king. Other weapons such as sais, nunchucku, kama, tonfa, and a host of others originate from farming equipment and were created primarily for defence against those who carried katana, the Samurai. Ultimately one of the most effective weapons against the sword was just a bigger sword, an Ōdachi (or great sword). Its extended reach could mean all the difference between victory and defeat, life and death – especially when that difference could be measured in millimetres. Parallel this to modern rock music, where guitar is king and many musicians use a variety of instruments to try and distinguish themselves from the pack. But, once again, the simplest solutions are often the best solution, and to defeat the guitar you need a bigger guitar. You need a bass. And, if there’s one thing that Giant Gutter From Outer Space have, it’s bass. Loud, filthy, fuzz-driven bass. Bass that pounds out riff after riff of dirty, distorted, sinewy notes and grating metallic chords. Bass which sounds random and chaotic but still pulses with rhythm and purpose. There might not be much, if any, in the way of technical wizardry here but it is thick with character and, well, thickness. Backing this up (and as a two piece this is the only backup) is their drums, driving...
Album Review: Wolf Down – ‘Incite & Conspire’

Album Review: Wolf Down – ‘Incite & Conspire’

Band: Wolf Down Album: Incite & Conspire Genre: Modern Hardcore Date of Release: 05/02/2016 Location: Germany Reviewer: Benjamin Muir For Fans Of: Earth Crisis, Stray from the Path, Throwdown, Animal Liberation Front Track Listing: 1. Barricade Fever 0:20 2. Against the Grain 1:56 3. Protect/Preserve 3:08 4. Invisible War 2:21 5. Flames of Discontent 4:02 6. At Daggers Drawn 3:04 7. Incite 1:53 8. Conspire 2:49 9. True Deceivers 0:00 10. Torch of Reason 0:00 11. The Fortress 0:00 Some of you may remember Germany’s Wolf Down (or wolfXdown, if you were early enough to the party) going slightly viral in 2013, thanks largely in part to the phenomenal cords of their original singer, Larissa, as well as their overall tightness. While she’s no longer with the band, and while they’ve lost the distinct quality of being a hardcore curiosity by manner of having a female vocalist, Wolf Down show no signs of slipping or losing steam with 2016’s Incite & Conspire. When one particular quality of a band is fetishized and focused on relentlessly, it can be easy to look past the others – but Wolf Down are and always have been more than just who fronts them, and this record proves that beyond a shadow of a doubt. This is not a concept album, but it is a conceptual one. I’m totally going to spoil it for you, but if you enjoy free market economics or eating meat, this probably won’t be your thing. It is definitely mine. Some would argue that it is simply politically and ideologically in line with a lot of the early 90’s...