Song Review: Ziptie – ‘Hipster Blues’

Song Review: Ziptie – ‘Hipster Blues’

Band: Ziptie Song: ‘Hipster Blues’ Genre: Rock/hard rock Date of Release: 05/04/16 Location: Los Angeles Reviewer: Dylan Cameron For Fans Of: Losing £500 First and foremost, I must apologise to Ziptie for the unforgivable tardiness of which this review has arrived. I uphold myself to a high level of professionalism and reliability, and to prolong this opinion which you so desperately desire, has more than likely secured me a place upon your scale of your disgust somewhere between Hitler and any music made outside Texas. For this, an explanation is due. As my cursor approached the email supplied to me by our chief officer, I noticed, to my disgust, that the track was named ‘Hipster Blues’, and before the first beat from your poorly produced drums molested my eardrums, my eyes were already sending signals to my otherwise perfect brain, activating layer upon layer of untameable rage. Which did I hate more? The thought of hipsters playing blues? Or hipsters playing blues who then have the audacity to describe said actions in the title, like some form of group masturbation, forced upon all to witness? After my first “experience” of your “music”, my body had quite an unpleasant sequence of spasms. My stomach churned, my face contorted, and my tongue uttered three simple words – “please, not again”. But, as much as the thought of revisiting such bland, insipid, gewgaw God awfulness haunted me, I knew I must, because in the bottom of which little remains of my crusty cold heart, I decided to give you a second chance. Whilst gawking upon what is quiet possibly the laziest band...
DUNE RATS Release New Song ‘Bullshit’

DUNE RATS Release New Song ‘Bullshit’

Today stoner punk trio Dune Rats released a new track entitled Bullshit. It’s been just under two years since we’ve heard anything much from these guys, and earlier in the year it was announced that they will be supporting Violent Soho (aka Violently So-So) alongside DZ Deathrays this month. Be sure to check out ‘Bullshit’ below, and if you’re keen to get blazed af and mosh to some dank 10/10 Aussie tunes there are two shows with tickets left. Saturday, 21st May Bass In The Grass 2016, Darwin Friday 22 – Sunday 24 July Splendour In The Grass 2016, Byron Bay, NSW BULLSHIT IS OUT TODAY!! YEWWW!! https://t.co/JYwWaYbWpJ — DUNE RATS! (@DUNERATSS) May 5,...
Album Review: Haken – Affinity

Album Review: Haken – Affinity

Band: HAKEN Album: Affinity Genre: Progressive metal/Progressive rock Date of Release: 29th April 2016 Location: London, England Reviewer: Matthew Byrne For Fans Of: Dream Theater, Leprous, Casio Keyboards Track Listing: 1. ‘affinity.exe’ (1:24) 2. ‘Initiate’ (4:16) 3. ‘1985’ (9:09) 4. ‘Lapse’ (4:44) 5. ‘The Architect’ (15:40) 6. ‘Earthrise’ (4:48) 7. ‘Red Giant’ (6:06) 8. ‘The Endless Knot’ (5:50) 9. ‘Bound By Gravity’ (9:29) What was it about the 80’s which causes so many of us to reflect upon it so fondly? Was it the shoulder pads? Michael Jackson? Pac Man? Or, perhaps, was it simply the sheer beauty that was Ronald Reagan’s hair? Whether it’s masked crusaders from outer space saving the world with keytar in hand (a.k.a. Tupper Ware Remix Party) or a leather jacket clad kung-fu cop travelling backing in time to kill Adolf Hitler, there’s no denying that, for some reason, people fucking love the 1980’s. Or they don’t. Whatever. So, imagine my surprise when I discovered that the fourth album from British prog-metallers, Haken, would have some 80’s flavor to it. I mean, it’s somewhat of a logical step to take after their previous album’s (The Mountain) 70’s prog-inspired sound, but what initially crossed my mind was that time that guy made an 8-bit version of Tesseract’s Altered State. Fear not though, this isn’t an elaborate prank by Haken to release a chiptune album. Entitled Affinity, the album’s 1980’s influences are tasteful rather than in your face and wanting attention. The album opens with ‘affinity.exe’, which serves more of an abient/electronic lead into the album’s first real song and single, ‘Initiate’. When this song was...
Song Review: Megacone – ‘Absolute Magnitude’

Song Review: Megacone – ‘Absolute Magnitude’

Band: MEGACONE Song: ‘Absolute Magnitude’ Genre: Progressive instrumental Date of release: 29/02/16 Location: Ireland Reviewer: Matthew Byrne For Fans Of: Cloudkicker Okay, before I get into this review, I feel like it’s my duty to bring to your attention a very serious issue which has the potential to affect the entire world. No, I’m not talking about global warming. No, I’m not talking about how half of the world’s total wealth is in the hands of only 1% of the population, whilst the lower and middle classes continue their seemingly endless struggle to make ends meet. And no, I’m not talking about how it’s an eerily real possibility that Donald Trump could very well be the 45th President of the United States – I’m talking about something far, far larger. Obviously. What I’m talking about – well, what I’m wondering more so – is why, for some god damn reason, people think it is okay to have three or more guitarists in one band. There are very, very few artists who write music complex or dense enough to warrant such a scenario, and before you say anything, no – Periphery are not one of them. It’s something I’ve noticed becoming more and more prevalent over the years and it’s completely and utterly unnecessary. For the love of all things good in the world, just stop. Phew, okay. Deep breaths, Matt. You’re writing a review. Get a hold of yourself. Okay, so now that that’s out of the way, let us move on. Today, we’re looking at the latest single, ‘Absolute Magnitude’, from Irish instrumental prog-heads, Megacone. Let me first...
Song Review: My Friend The Betrayer – ‘Vulture’

Song Review: My Friend The Betrayer – ‘Vulture’

Band: My Friend The Betrayer Song: Vulture Genre: Metalcore (Second-wave melodic, to be precise) Date of Release: 19/03/2016 Location: Queensland Reviewer: Chemikarl For Fans Of: I Killed the Prom Queen, Parkway Drive Nostalgia is a fickle mistress, to use an unfortunately gendered idiom. Nostalgia is what signs paychecks for acts like Metallica, who haven’t released a good album in over a quarter of a century by some metrics (and longer, by my metric). Nostalgia is what convinces you that it’s probably a good idea to get back with your ex five years down the line. Nostalgia is what makes braindead morons watch superhero films and try and convince everyone of their artistic merit. It’s no surprise, then, that nostalgia is such a huge driving force in music. In an information-based age where culture is eternally archived and preserved, it’s made that much harder for new artists to move into the collective consciousness. No longer is space made for standards of expression by the fading one-hit wonders of yesteryear – instead, we save them to spotify playlists and continue to make jokes about Michael Crahahhahahahahafter and Lee Harding’s Wasabi years afterwards. Maybe it speaks to something about the human condition – our resistance to change; our fear of the unknown; our fetishisation of youth and youth culture accessories. Frankly, I don’t know. The only conversation I’m good at having is bragging about my borderline alcohol abuse, and I only write this pseudo-intellectual stuff because like one in every twenty or so chicks thinks it makes me sound deep or something. No doubt my tinder profile will be blowing up the...