Articles

A List of Cheap and Free Things To Do In Melbourne

CHEAP AND FREE THINGS TO DO IN MELBOURNE: OUROBORIS’ GUIDE TO THE WORLD’S MOST LIVEABLE CITY. Today, I was scrolling through Facebook on my phone, as I want to do when I’m sick (or healthy for that matter), and came across an article called “26 Ways Not To Be A Dickhead In Melbourne”. Evidently, Melbourne has a unique dickhead problem with the sort of dickhead problems that are distinctly unique to Melbourne – and not actually applicable to any other city or town in the world. It was published by Time Out which is the unfortunate, mostly overlooked street press in Melbourne which also apparently serves other cities in Australia. Time Out is what you begrudgingly read in the toilet of your Collingwood sharehouse because you’ve already read all the Beat Magazines from cover to cover. No one reads it, talks about it or would even notice it’s there if it wasn’t free. Its website shows that it caters to every other city in Australia which must enthral those metropolis’ punters with articles like “26 Ways Not To Be A Dickhead in Melbourne”, “Cheap Things To Do In Melbourne”, “101 Things To Die Before You Die In Melbourne”, “Melbourne’s Best Beaches” and of course “Ssshhh! Don’t Tell The Tourists: 13 Underground Things To Do In Melbourne”, with such a widespread appeal to the many cultures spread across the country on display there. It’s clear they don’t just serve Melbourne. I lived in Melbourne from 2004 to 2008, then 2009 to 2010 and then finally 2012 to 2014. I loved it , hated it and enjoyed every treat it offered...

Industry Profile #3 – Joshua C Liston

Name: Joshua C Liston Age: 31 City: Albury, NSW Industry Job: Podcaster, Guitarist & former Venue Booker Artists You’ve Worked/Currently Work With: A Candela Lie, The Third Estate, Bella Maris and many more. 1. In the current musical climate, what do you think are the most important things a band/artist can do to catch your attention? When it really comes down to it I would love to see bands do two things. Firstly, be yourself in everything you do, and try your best to focus on the art itself. If your art is “not-you-enough” or is simply “not-good-enough”, then no amount of clever marketing can cover that gap. Secondly, if you reach out to me online, please do your due-diligence and find out what exactly I do now – I podcast about Independent Music Marketing, Touring and the Creative Process for musicians. I’m not a song reviewer or promoter, nor am I a booking agent or a band manager, so if I get the feeling you don’t know this, then I simply won’t respond. 2. What exactly does your job involve? My former music industry activity involved writing for and managing my own bands, booking and managing my own bands live-shows, and booking a local venue with a national profile. These days my main musical focus is the DIY Music Movement podcast: Where I seek-out, curate and share the most research-driven music industry information along with the very best anecdotal advice in the hope of truly helping musicians and artists achieve what it is that they want to achieve. 3. Have there ever been any moments where you were...

Zayn Malik Leaves 1D To Become Real Musician

by Erised Pre-pubescent teenage girls the world over are in a collective state of mourning today, as the news that Pop phenom One Direction and erstwhile “singer” Zayn Malik have parted ways. It is understood that Malik has left the manufactured Pop group to pursue his long-held dream of becoming a real musician. This has understandably left 1D in a bit of a predicament, but Lead Mime Harry Styles was quoted as saying: “It’s ok, we have a whole country full of potential Zayn Maliks to choose from. It’s not like anyone can tell them apart anyway, amirite?” Casual racism aside, Styles appears to have somewhat of a point. Styles’ boyfriend and fellow 1D member Louis Tomlinson opined that: “We had already been replacing Zayn live for certain concerts because he was too…ahem…”occupied” with his extra-curricular activities, and no-one noticed anything was amiss. We got the idea from Slipknot, actually. We just got a plastic mask of Imran Khan and put it on random people and it worked a treat. I mean, it’s not like Zayn did any singing live anyway. Let’s be honest, can you tell me one melody or lyric that was his? No? Didn’t think so.” When asked about his departure, Malik was quite sanguine. “I’m not bothered, honestly. I’ve had offers flooding in left, right and centre, so the future looks bright. Not all within music either. I received an email from Cricket Australia with an offer to replace Watson at 3, but I don’t really want to show him up.” In other related news, scientists are rejoicing today at the opportunity to once and...

3 Simple Tips For Getting Better Exposure From Live Shows

I guess you could say that I’m a music journalist. I write about music for a number of publications and I’m also a working musician. I’m not saying I’m an expert, but let’s just say I occasionally know what I’m talking about. There’s a few things that I think all bands really need to get on top of if they want better exposure from the media, and that’s why I’m writing this post. When playing live, tell people your song names As a reviewer, it’s really hard to write about some bands. Unless you’re already famous, expect that people don’t know any of the songs. It’s not just because you want your new fans to be able to find the songs, but fuck, I need something to write about. If someone gives enough of a fuck to read about your band, they might want to know what songs you played. Shit, if you play a good song and I can’t find it’s name, then what the fuck can I say about it? That you played a good song? You’re making my job hard, and I’m way too lazy to find extra adjectives so I can describe your boring-assed set. You don’t need to name every song, but if you have a single, a crowd favorite, or just a song or two that you think are interesting, tell us their fucking names. “I really need to poop, but we still have 12 songs left!” Interact With The Crowd When you’re on stage you’re there to perform. Unless you’re funny as shit, or just a great public speaker, we probably don’t...

The Genre and The Mind

Written by: The Astr0naut Picture yourself sitting alone with your eyes closed in an empty room with only the chair you’re sitting in. Every aspect of the room is serene, leaving a great ambiance for the mind to wander only upon the most peaceful thoughts. While sitting in this chair, you start to hear sounds that appeal to you. Any type of sound, just the first thing that comes to mind. This can be a multitude of different entities. Raindrops, birds chirping, background noise of bad television that lulls away your late night depression, or anything else really, can be an example of a comforting sound. For many, this sound could be a guitar riff or drum pattern to one of their favorite songs, or even a vocal track. In this case, what we’ll be focusing on is what kind of song it is. Each person has a slightly different sound that makes them happy, or in the world of music, each person has a slightly different taste that lets them personify exactly what kind of song they’re looking for. This is where genres come into play, almost as a way to cut up the battlefield into thousands of classifications, or subgenres, so the individual can analyze exactly what they love or hate about a sound. We see this in a lot of rock music. While it does happen in other genres, such as the hip-hop, rap, and RnB trio, and their subgenres, it does not ever come to the level we have it as in the rock category. For a quick example, just in rock, we have indie,...

A Short Studio Survival Guide

Written by: The Astr0naut For starters, be warned, recording is not something where your band goes in and plays each song twice. You spend hours upon hours mastering your craft in order to get a satisfactory sound that still actually sucks to most of your listeners. Each song will probably be played at least ten times because the vocalist cracked or the bassist forgot what instrument he was playing. Another factor to keep in mind, every hour you spend is also a great handful of money, so use your time wisely. Make sure you actually know the entire fucking song. Guitarists: So when you’re performing live, especially in heavy music, there are a couple notes you can fudge and act like you hammered on the right fret, but you palm muted the wrong dj0nt and were on the wrong string. You can’t do that while recording. Each little part is sacred and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you’re wasting everyone’s time, money, and effort. Your ego needs to be put to the side. You are not better than any single one of your bandmates, and especially not the engineer. Disrespect and unprofessionalism will only end up with you getting half assed track and another person who already hates your shitty band. Don’t be Ronnie Radke or Buddy Nielson. Disrespect is on a different level of dislike, however. Always make sure that you are getting the product you want. Make sure you’re on top of every little sample that’s being placed in because your drummer is off time. Keep a great connection with your engineer so that everyone...

Hearts For Hardcore – A Look At The Melbourne Charity Organisation Making A Difference

I am a promoter. When not writing for IPHYB it’s one of the things I do and have been doing for years. I promote hardcore techno shows because I make it and it’s so addictive for me I wanted to get involved as much as possible. This is how I came to organise shows, run an independent record label and host radio shows. I’m not going to mention my label or my producer name because this article isn’t about me or what I do. This evening as I was flicking through ye old Facebook feed. I came upon a comment that was linked to a page. It was for a semi-regular hardcore techno event in Melbourne. I was looking at the posts and the description and I came across a very strange opening line to it’s “About” section. “_____ is a charity, a non profit promotion based in Melbourne which is run by two non mainstream core dudes” A charity? It’s a fucking music event! When in the name of fuck did providing hardcore techno become a necessary service for assisting the community? How conceited does a promoter have to be to use the words “non profit” and “charity” to describe organising a show? Jesus,even AJ Maddah doesn’t do that. Now. Some of you reading this might be promoters or have organised a show in the past of some kind yourself. You know that it usually involves spending money and not getting much back in return. Sometimes you do but not always. It’s something you do because you enjoy it and you want to do it. But that doesn’t...

Live Review: Ouroboris Goes To Soundwave 2015

INTRODUCTION: About 12 months ago, I heard from a friend on Facebook, that Godflesh were coming to Australia to be a part of Soundwave. There had been rumours that they were to come out in previous years. But now it appeared it was legit. Now. You’ve probably been attending Soundwave for years and have happy memories of seeing Slayer 6 times, watching Marilyn Manson abuse his hapless band which might as well wear badges that say “staff” and rocking out to bands like Blink 182. Me? I haven’t. I have never been to Soundwave. I grew up in the 90s, which means I’ve been to Big Day Out 8 times and attended a few of the mini festivals that used to pop up from time to time, whether it be watching a young, unknown Karnivool at Gozzy Rock in Perth or being insulted by Powderfinger at Solar Stomp in Mandurah WA. I used to go to festivals from about age 16 to 24 because this was when I was still young, had my finger on the pulse of what bands were cool. Generally liked most of those bands and a festival lineup had usually 1 or 2 bands I didn’t want to see and that was it. Soundwave has had a few lineups that looked good, but not enough to warrant me buying a ticket. Considering I usually paid around $40 for festivals, at $100+ I’m expecting a bit of money’s worth. But the sad truth is that I’m 37 now and my days of festivals appealing to my interests are over. This is something I am happy to...

Industry Profile #2 – Andrew Basso

Name: Andrew Basso Age: 25 City: Melbourne Industry Job: Photographer/Designer Artists You’ve Worked With: Conjurer, Pandorum, Overdrum, Toxicon, Pride Only Hurts, Tyler Wilford, Dario & Elise, Down Royale, Humality, Circles, Reline, Amaronix, No Stairway, Cal Browne, House Vs Hurricane, Pantallica, Dreamcoat 1. In the current musical climate, what do you think are the most important things a band/artist can do to catch your attention? I think a mixture of a great sound, good live presence, good “image” and something that separates them from every other local band who is trying to get you to their shows. There are stacks of bands that I’ve tried to get into (to support the local scene) that have a Facebook page with a shitty iPhone photo of the band looking angry or away from the camera, a Microsoft Paint logo and low quality recordings they’ve done themselves in their garage. Now, I’m not saying that all these acts are terrible. In fact, some are really talented, but when you see these poorly made “first points of contact”, it does not reflect well on the great artist they may be. I understand money is always an issue with bands, especially starting out, but I think to be taken seriously and have a better chance of people taking an interest, the material should appeal to the audience right off the bat. Furthermore, the band should be able to back up their invitation to a gig with the ability to put on a good show. Whether that’s being a really well rehearsed or tight band, putting on a massive lighting and effects display, being funny on...