IPHYB Recommends: A Bunch Of Bands That Aren’t Shit

IPHYB Recommends: A Bunch Of Bands That Aren’t Shit
G’day, dickheads. I’m sure you’re all aware that we here at IPHYB have objectively flawless musical taste, so we thought that we’d have a dig around and give you a list of a bunch of bands that are fucking siiiick. Not quite as fucking siiiick as, perhaps, a fully siiiiick wolf tattoo or something, but still pretty zazz regardless. Now, most of these are Australian, and that’s just something you’ll have to deal with, because Australians are objectively the best musicians, best-looking people, and have the largest penisia in the world. Fact. Deal with it, everyone else.

DriveTime Commute

If you like math, Melbourne, gimp masks, rabbit onesies, impish frontmen that royally fuck shit up live, quality tunes, or any combination of the above, you’ll love DriveTime Commute. For fans of Norma Jean, The Chariot, Converge, and going absolutely batshit crazy live…so yeah, those aforementioned bands, really.
Listen HERE

ZILF

Sure, they aren’t Aussie, but they are poms, so whatever. Either way, holy fucking hell this is some dank shit. Experimental, and addictive. An eclectic blend of seemingly diametrically opposed ideas, that somehow come together to produce an enthralling listen from start to finish. Fantastic. For fans of Mr. Bungle, but with some decidedly more chaotic elements, and even some heavy as fuck shit thrown in for good measure. Think SikTh, but less djenty.
Listen HERE

Dead Teach The Living

These crazy sons of bitches are from New Zealand, land of the chilly bin, jandals, judder bar, and various other hilariously daftly named things. So by this point you can more or less ignore my intro paragraph about most of these bands being Australian, even if NZ is basically just the ‘strayan Canada. Only instead of apologising for everything, they get far too intimate with sheep instead. Anyway, DTTL have been reviewed by yours truly beforehand, and their follow up to The Feeding Begins is every bit as inventive, angular, and memorable as its predecessor, so you should check that shit out.
Listen HERE

Grim Indiana

Believe it or not, they aren’t a black metal band, nor are they based in ‘murrica. What they are, is an exceptional blend of melocore emotion, and actual riffs. Consummate lyricism, memorable hooks, all performed brilliantly. Not much more to say really, if you dig melodic hardcore, or even just want to hear some actual feeling in lyrics for a change, then Grim Indiana are your lads. You can also read my review.
Listen HERE

Jack The Stripper

Simply put, Jack The Stripper are the best fucking band in all of our fine land, and by extension, the world. Incredible live show to boot, but the fact remains that 2013’s Raw Nerve is one of the best releases ever to come out of the Australian heavy scene. You can read my full review of it, or you can just listen to it and buy it, which is a far better option. Fans of The Dillinger Escape Plan, Tony Danza Tap Dance Extravaganze, and just fucking insanely well executed music will love it.
Listen HERE

Blind Girls

You’re probably sensing a theme by now, that I am heaps into chaotic shit. You’d be right. It rules. Case in point, Gold Coast natives Blind Girls. Another band that effortlessly blends chaos with substance, and somehow delivers a listen that gets more dense the more you listen. If you are into noisey, dirty, downright filthy, unrestrained music, you’ll dig the fuck out of these guys. Buy it. Buy it now.
Listen HERE

The Great City

If you like super long, pretentious names, mathy, progressive soundscapes, and lyrics that will make you crawl into a ball of untethered emotional distress, then these guys will be your jam. We’ve reviewed them a couple times, and if you don’t recognise the name, you may have heard the longer form of it (The Woman You Saw Is the Great City That Rules over the Kings of the Earth) pop up in discussions of ‘overly long, art-wank band names designed to appear as high-minded as possible’. Incredible band, the new stuff is next level.
Listen HERE

Polaris

A perfect storm of melody, aggression, and most importantly, quality. Polaris have taken their previous blueprint and improved on every aspect. Coupled with Sonny Truelove’s immaculate production, the wonderful songwriting delivers us, quite simply, one of the most promising EPs from an independent band in years. Huge things to come for sure. For fans of Architects, ERRA, and earworm choruses. Not to be confused with the pumps, or the ATVs, or any of the thousand other brands of the same name. These guys have also copped some hella reviews from us over the last year.
Listen HERE

The Orphan

‘Yeah, yeah, Chris, you love noise. We get it,’ you’re all probably saying right now. Well, I don’t care. This shit rules. The Orphan are yet another brilliant example of Aussie noise/punk/math, and they are mint as fuck. Nothing more, really. Listen to it, buy it. The music is so nasty, it would probably take your mother out for dinner, fuck her, and then only call her when it wanted her to do its laundry. Brilliant.
Listen HERE

IPHYB Recommends: A Bunch Of Bands That Aren’t Shit
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Chris Giacca

Publisher at IPHYB
Chris Giacca just may be the worst writer in the world, but it doesn't matter because he probably still has a bigger audience than you, so he is by default automatically right about everything. No exceptions. He's currently writing a novel which will be uploaded in single chapter installments as spoken word on bandcamp. Physical releases will be on laser disc only, limited to 17 1/2 units. Don't ask about the half.

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