IPHYB Choice Cuts: BLACK RHENO’s 5 Favourite Male Tits In Australian Music

IPHYB Choice Cuts: BLACK RHENO’s 5 Favourite Male Tits In Australian Music
It’s been a while since we’ve had a Choice Cuts article on IPHYB. The last time was when Mark Poida from Aversions Crown shared his Top 5 Video Game Bosses. I’m one of those nerds who like Top 5 lists, so I asked Sydney sludge/groove metal band Black Rheno to do a list on a topic of their choosing, and I certainly didn’t expect them to write about the best male tits in Australian music.

Black Rheno uploaded ‘No Time For Numb Nuts’ – the first single from their upcoming EP Let’s Start A Cult – to their Bandcamp page last month, which you can download for $1. The band also kicked off an East Coast tour for that song last weekend in Sydney. You can check out the rest of their tour dates at the bottom of this article, but for now, you can awkwardly look at photos and read an article on Aussie rock’n’roll’s finest male tits.

5. Ezekiel Ox (Full Scale, Over Reactor, Mammal)

This nu-metal motherfucker has been getting his hairy little puppies out on stages around Australia and abroad for many moons now, and truly does it like it “ain’t no thang”. If you’ve seen him on stage, you’ve seen his titties, as he struts across in a style somewhere between Henry Rollins, Mick Jagger and Swan Lake. But what a titty it is! Song: Over Reactor – Mouth Of The Ghetto

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“Now that’s a titty!” “Fully, man! That’s an official fully!”

4. Peter “Blackie” Black (The Hard-Ons)

Now there’s a little titty that been working its hot stuff since the early ’80s and is still getting its sweat on, Blackie’s left nipple knows no boundaries, and is something one can draw inspiration from as they’re peering through a vortex into the outer regions of the cosmos. A true spectacle. Song: She’s A Dish

Hard Ons #1

Peter Black pictured left.

3. Cosmic Psychos

Well where to start … there’s so much history, so much wonder, so much joy, truth and wisdom to be found while in the presence of such bewilderment. But all in all, and with so much that can be said, it’s pretty bloody simple here, alright kiddies: If you don’t like the Cosmic Psychos and their titties, you’re a dickhead! Song: Nice Day To Go To The Pub (Live)

Definitely a bloke that you can trust.

Definitely a bloke that you can trust.

2. Wayne “Slatts Everyday” Slattery (King Parrot)

This little fairy monster seems to be quite the titty twister indeed, never afraid to get those little round beauties out and about. But you must remember to be careful for if he drops the soap, because you might have to pick it up, and you dont wanna disappoint him…

Slats #1

“Guys, I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.”

1. Drew (Totally Unicorn)

There is more nipple in this band than this paragraph has space for when it comes to Totally Unicorn, but its the tie-dyed, stained, undie-slinging front man, Drew, that has to take the prize for one of the best nipples in Australian metal. It’s undeniable; you know it, you’ve seen it, and if you haven’t, then change that ASAP and cop an eye full of these hairy vino infused beauties! Song: Customer Service Station

Drew#1

Using the caption space to say that Totally Unicorn’s new album Drain Life is out now through Farmer & The Owl records. GET IT!

BLACK RHENO – ‘No Time For Numb Nuts’ East Coast Tour

Thursday August 4 @ The Pier Hotel, Port Maquarie NSW
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Friday August 5 @ New Globe Theatre, Brisbane QLD
w/ Dead End Kings, Kold Creature and Killers Creed
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Saturday August 6 @ Currumbin Tav, Gold Coast QLD
w/ Knights, Valhalla Mist and Handfull of Helmet
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Saturday August 13 @ Time & Tide, Dee Why, NSW
w/ Gutter Tactic, Uncanny Decoy and Disclaimer.
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Friday August 19 @ The Basement, Canberra, ACT
w/ Dreadnaught, Namuza, Wretch, Johnny Roadkill, Lions of the Underground, Tundrel and Loud so Clear.
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Saturday August 20 @ Reverence Hotel, Melbourne VIC
w/ The The Nuremberg Code, Roundtable, and Annihilist.
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Friday August 26 @ Hamilton Station, Newcastle NSW
w/ Chambers of Insanity, The Grounds and Burning Mountain.
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Saturday August 27 @ Hideaway Bar, Sydney, NSW
w/ DarkHorse and Aver.
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IPHYB Choice Cuts: BLACK RHENO’s 5 Favourite Male Tits In Australian Music
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