Articles

Addressing The NE OBLIVISCARIS Shitstorm And The Culture Of Abuse

It’s pretty safe to say that unless you’ve been in North Korea on holiday the last couple of weeks, you would have noticed the absolute shitstorm that was the Ne Obliviscaris controversy. IPHYB originally broke the story of NeO kicking out bassist and longtime member Brendan Brown after allegations of domestic abuse became public, with the band citing ‘irreconcilable differences’ as the main reason behind the split. Many people incorrectly assumed IPHYB broke the news based off numerous Facebook comments on various threads concerning the matter. It’s important to note that while it’s entirely fair for people to have made that assumption, considering there was no mention of IPHYB actually being in direct contact with the alleged victims, this was not the case at all. The news originally came to our attention after speaking with some of the alleged victims of Brown. They expressed sadness and frustration at the fact that Brown was able to continue on in Ne Obliviscaris, reputation untarnished, after he allegedly caused many people both physical and emotional pain. The alleged victims were extremely cautious of going public themselves for the fear of intense backlash from Brown, Ne Obliviscaris, and their fans, and IPHYB made the decision to take it on and bear the brunt of any incoming shade from going public. IPHYB took these allegations to the band and published the story, with the band ultimately making the decision to remove Brown. After the story broke, it was communicated by a member of Ne Obliviscaris they were not aware of the allegations of abuse, stating that if they had known sooner then he would...

Sydney Morning Herald Plays The “Diversity” Card, Misguidedly Attacks Triple J

Recently, Australian publication The Sydney Morning Herald published an article titled ‘Triple J listeners snub women again – but who is to blame?’, and focused on the “glaring underappreciation of women in music” after no female-fronted acts were revealed in the radio station’s annual audience-voted Top 10 poll. The article goes on to stress that over the past decade, only 14 out of 80 voted acts have been fronted by women. Firstly, I feel it’s necessary to introduce those who are otherwise unaware to the reality of free choice (and free speech) within a democracy such as Australia. The ability for an individual to choose based on their own personal preferences is something we ought to be glad about – not criticise and demean. The article, penned by Somayra Ismailjee, takes aim at the apparently “oppressive” successes of white, male artists, and how their permeation of creative spaces essentially breeds similar “hierarchies of power [to] be reproduced within them”. Goodness me. Let us pause for a moment and consider the term: audience-voted. The word “audience” implies a large majority of separate individuals (read: separate individuals capable of their own thoughts, opinions, and personal music preferences) have attended an event as assembled spectators or participants. What they all have in common, in this instance, is they each voted in a poll. The word “vote” is of particular importance as well. To be able to vote is to be able to choose. To be able to choose is a matter owed entirely to the individual(s) at hand. Their choice is theirs alone. The depth of the individual’s personal preferences will never...

Metalsucks Loses The Plot Over “Racist” Kid Rock Merch

In case you don’t keep up with the latest KID ROCK news, the five-time Grammy Award nominee (proof there is no God) caused some drama last week when he released a line of pro-Trump merch. The new collection includes a ‘Makes America Badass Again’ cap, and three t-shirts; one of which displays a map labelling the U.S states that formed a majority vote for Hillary Clinton as ‘Dumbfuckistan’, and the pro-Trump states as ‘America’. Kid Rock ripped the idea for the ‘Dumbfuckistan’ shirt directly from a meme (pronounced me–me) originating from Club Virgin 4chan, with a user posting a picture of the map in question although with said roles reversed. ‘Dumbfuckistan’ was the name given to the pro-Trump, majority-republican states, while the pro-Clinton, majority-democrat states were labelled ‘America’. In response, another user posted the following comment: ”This is precisely why Trump won. Because people are fucking tired of being called ‘Dumbfuckistan’ while being in a constant threat of being labelled “racist, idiot, misogynist” and so on when they try to defend themselves. You are the reason people are fucking tired of your “better than thou” shit. You are why Trump won.” Anon was partly correct. Aside from the obvious fact that Hillary Clinton was a fucking warmongering, email-leaking, rapist-marrying troglodyte, the Trump win can also be attributed to the bratty and elitist faction of the left who went completely off the deep end during the election cycle. Call them whatever you want; the ‘regressive’ left, the ‘authoritarian’ left, it doesn’t really matter. They are what they are, and yes, they’re partly responsible for Trump taking the top job. In...

10 Shit Songs That Are Shit

G’day, cunnos. It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these articles, so I figured it was time to sharpen my cleats and do some good, ol’ fashioned band-stomping. This list is comprised of 10 songs that are either straight up shit, or so boring that they may as well be. Links are provided in the titles, so click on the song title to listen. Do so at your own risk, obviously, and don’t say you weren’t warned. Enjoy! 1. Kings Hollow – Herald You know that things aren’t going to be pretty when the simple lead phrase intro is poorly tracked. Oh boy, what a stinker this is. Everyone remember It Dies Today? Remember how shit their screamer was? I’m willing to bet these guys do, because as soon as homeslice opens his mouth, you’ll probably instantly think of him, just like I did. Unlike IDT though, the music doesn’t make up for it in any way, shape or form. Next. 2. Valeria Warntz – I Don’t Love You Anymore Holy shit, I fucking love broken English. Aside from this song being extremely boring, and the vocals sounding ever so slightly sharp for the whole first verse, and just being pretty fuckin’ average in general, the lyrics just put the icing on the poorly-made, inaccurately pronounced cake. ‘Why do you lie? It is so meanly. It turned out that you have just played a wicked game. You can’t deny, you’d never loved me. So why did you spent time with me,what was your aim?’ ‘But your actions just showed me reverse And I felt the pain in...

Five Alternative Purchases To Justin Bieber VIP Tickets

Justin Bieber is coming to our fair shores in March ’17, and the front row tickets will run you a princely … wait, no, scratch that, a lordly $640 for VIP package #1, the ‘I’ll show you’ experience. Now, I want to preface what I’m about to write in this article by saying that Bieber is okay. Sort of. Purpose was a hard 6.5, maybe 7/10 tops, which in the context of his other releases, is probably equivalent to a 9/10. He’s not a particularly great singer, but I get the feeling that 99% of his fans aren’t too concerned with that, and probably don’t have much of a comparison metric to go on in the first place. In any case, if you are seriously considering dropping well over half a grand on this, I think it’s pretty fair to say you may not have fully explored your options re: what six-hundred-and-forty bones can get you, considering that the VIP package amounts to the following: • One ticket to the exclusive JB Pit inside the stage • One Premium Merchandise Pack created exclusively for Bkstg VIPs • One Exclusive Commemorative Laminate • Early Entry to the Venue • On site concierge including exclusive VIP Cloaking to allow you to store your exclusive Merchandise Pack until the end of the show • “I’ll Show You” VIP Pit Experience tickets can only be collected from the venue on the day of the event. No “I’ll Show You” VIP Pit Experience tickets will be sent out So without further ado, allow me to outline a bunch of ways in which you will...

Bandcamp Bargain Bin #3 ft. Sam Dishington [Départe]

G’day, flogs. This installment of Bandcamp Bargain Bin has been hand-picked by none other than Disho himself, so you can expect a healthy smattering of black metal, metal that is black, metal noir, and good ol’ fashioned black metal, just for good measure. There’s probably some other shit in there as well, I guess. As an aside, Départe are releasing a full-length very soon, so you should probably head over to their bandcamp page and drop a pre-order on that sonbitch pronto. Enjoy! As always, links are in the titles. Abaton – Discography Killer proggy doomy sludge metal from Italy with a smattering of hardcore and some really sick atmosphere. Plus a guest vocal spot from old mate from Nero Di Marte, and that guy is sick, so get around it. Pay What You Wish. The Armed – Discography Fans of Converge, The Dillinger Escape Plan and Every Time I Die (I think, I don’t listen to much ETID… but I think of them when I listen to this) will dig this rad four piece math/hardcore band. All 7 of their releases on Bandcamp are Free Download, which is nice of them! Free Download Frontierer – Discography Mathcore. Mathcore, mathcore, mathcore. These Scots play very sick, super hectic and aggressive mathcore in the vein of Car Bomb, The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza and Sectioned. In fact, some of the guys from Frontierer are also in Sectioned, who you should definitely also check out. Their stuff is free on Bandcamp too. I probably should have put them on this list. Oh well, next time. Pay What You Wish Hexis –...

Nirvana’s ‘Nevermind’ Baby Comes Under Scrutiny For Failing To Reveal Penis For Album Cover Recreation

The album artwork for Nirvana’s Nevermind has been recreated to mark the 25th anniversary of its release, with original photographer John Chapple and original baby Spencer Eden teaming up once again after more than a quarter of a century However, Eden — who appears to no longer be a baby — has come under scrutiny for allegedly not paying homage to the original image by failing to reveal his penis. ”Frankly, it’s an insult to their legacy” said Nirvana historian Sarah-Belle Palsy. “The failure of Eden to not authentically recreate the image by showing his penis shows how little he really cares about keeping the spirit of Nirvana alive”. ”Obviously, I’m not trying to say that perhaps he still has a tiny baby penis and that’s why he’s reluctant to reveal it — although, I can’t definitively say that he doesn’t have a little baby penis, either.” continued Palsy. However, it’s now been revealed through reports by The New York Post that Eden did want to do it naked, but photographer John Chapple said he thought it would be “weird”. ”I said to the photographer, ‘Let’s do it naked.’ But he said that would be weird, so I wore my swim shorts.” said Eden. Chapple has since copped serious backlash from fans across the globe, with many accusing the photographer of having a preference for baby penis, but here at IPHYB we refuse to propagate outlandish theories such as that. RELATED: COURTNEY LOVE Apparently Intelligent Enough To Grasp The Concept Of Puns Nirvana are best known as Dave Grohl’s band before the far-superior Foo Fighters, whose mainstream success came...

Bandcamp Bargain Bin #2

It’s time for the second installment of Bandcamp Bargain Bin! That’s right, that means another bunch of sick bargains from my favourite music platform. So load up your PayPal, and get ready to fork out a shockingly small amount of cash in exchange for some damn fine tunes. As always, leave your favourite Bandcamp bargains in the comments, and don’t forget to follow me HERE for more sweet recommendations. Links are embedded in the titles, as per usual. Cheers, nerds. Serious Beak – Huxwhukw Art As Catharsis founder/labelhead Lachlan Dale is actually a bullshit good musician, and here is a fair amount of proof of that. Serious Beak have a weird name to match their weird song titles and weird music. Prog fans will have a field day with this one. Pay What You Wish Corpo-Mente – Corpo-Mente I’ve only recently discovered that Igorrr is a thing, thanks to my mate Disho (who will be contributing a future edition/s of BBB), and I was left wondering where the hell his incomparable blend of baroque, electronica, opera, and black/death metal had been all of my life. The answer is ‘presumably somewhere in France, where he’s always been’. This particular album is a side-project in conjunction with insanely talented vocalist Laure Le Prunenec, whose voice is an absolute revelation. Listen, and weep at her unreal diversity. Pay What You Wish Hashshashin – Nihsahshsah Only available for pre-order as yet, due for release on October 11th. Hashshashin have somehow managed to incorporate bouzouki and didgeridoo into prog metal. How? Fucks me, but they have. And it’s not one of those occasions where...

METAL FUSION 2017: Heavy Music Festival

Ever been to Tasmania? Well, you should go. It’s marvellous. The local beer, wine, and whisky are the stuff of legends. The food is legitimately amazing. In fact, the food is not shit. The folks are fair and friendly–a little odd considering the island was founded and built by murderers, degenerates, and senseless monsters who committed deplorable acts such as stealing bread, or punching a horse in their stupid, long equine faces, because fuck horses. Tassie is also a state of innovation. They had the first brewery in Australia, the first underground sewerage system, and if the legend is to be believed, some guy in Launceston invented the first notepad. Like, in the world. Dubious, I know, but the point is they did some things before the rest of Australia, so fuck you. Their relative isolation has helped foster a rich culture of creativity, and the music and arts scene is no exception. There’s a swathe of festivals held throughout the year, and 2016 marked the debut of Tasmania’s first dedicated annual heavy music festival, METAL FUSION. Held in February, it saw the likes of Psycroptic, Graves, and Hollow World grace the stage at Club 54 in Launceston along with a host of local Tasmanian talent. We’re bringing you the first official lineup announcement for the 2017 event right now, so strap yourselves in; the lineup for next year is even bigger, and will pack a firm punch to your presumably tiny, ineffectual balls. Metal Fusion 2017 will see patreon peddling, violin-molesting metal exports Ne Obliviscaris as main headlining act, joined by Sanzu, Legerity, and fellow Melbourne lads Hollow...
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