Song Review: Skylene – “Existential Artifacts”

Song Review: Skylene – “Existential Artifacts”

Song review: Existential Artifacts
Band: Skylene
Location: Hawaii
Date of Release: 21st November, 2012
Genre: Melodic Metal/Hardcore
Reviewer: Erised

I can only imagine that the reason that the vocalist is still in this band is because he either:
a) has called a massive debt on the rest of the band members
b) has a hot mum that the other dudes in the band are secretly banging on the side and they feel bad for him
c) Hawaii is a small place with a negligible scene for heavy music and this guy is the best vocalist available
I’m fairly certain that the answer is b). Yep, definitely.

The worst thing is that musically this is very well written, ably performed heavy hardcore that would be perfectly enjoyable if it wasn’t for the clown vomiting over the top of it. I’d actually even prefer an instrumental version. Add a few lead breaks to replace the shitty vox and you have yourself an interesting instrumental track.

Not too much more to say really, replace the shouse frontman, keep banging his mum and you’ll do fine.

Vocals: 2/10
Guitars: 7/10
Bass: I can hear it/10
Drums: 7.5/10
Production: 7/10
Lyrics: meh/10
Songwriting: 6.5/10
Overall IPHYB Rating: sadly, a 4/10 due to the unlistenable vocals

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Song Review: Skylene – “Existential Artifacts”
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Chris Giacca

Publisher at IPHYB
Chris Giacca just may be the worst writer in the world, but it doesn't matter because he probably still has a bigger audience than you, so he is by default automatically right about everything. No exceptions. He's currently writing a novel which will be uploaded in single chapter installments as spoken word on bandcamp. Physical releases will be on laser disc only, limited to 17 1/2 units. Don't ask about the half.

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