Song review: The Cadavering Process
Band: Remains Of The Tyrant
Location: Modesto, California
Date of Release: 21st November 2013
Oh good, poorly written Deathcore. Perfect for my Sunday night review.
Let’s dispense with the subtlety, because Deathcore isn’t particularly well known for being so. Starting off, the opening riff is quite drab. It plays around with that chromatic downshift that every Death Metal band ever has utilised at some point in time, followed by the obligatory diminished scale tag riff to complete the riff. Sick. I certainly haven’t heard that before *sighs*.
The vocals come in with about as much musical awareness and attention to lyrical flow that your average male chauvinist displays towards his partner’s orgasm. Zilch. They might enjoy it as a by product of being penetrated, but said male certainly isn’t concerned if they don’t. That’s kind of the vocals in a nutshell really. The D is strong (read: vocal quality) but it isn’t guided with any real intuition. It’s just kind of crammed in there without so much as a courtesy wipe or even a “hey, i’m sticking it in there, hope that’s ok”. I guess what I’m trying to say here is that this guys lows/highs are quite powerful, he just needs to learn when and where it is appropriate to use them, otherwise he may find himself in front of a judge.
While we are talking vocals, the lyrics are in dire need of some TLC. They are the same overly brutal, hum-drum bullshit that every DM band worth their salt peddles. We get it. You’re brutal and you like having cute little fap fantasies about necro-sex while you choke yourself. We just don’t necessarily need to hear about it and even if we did, it would be nice if some actual thought went in to it.
Back to the guitars we go. Seriously, the lead guitarist needs to learn some restraint. It sounds half cool when Synyster Gates solos the entire way through a song, but he also went to Musicians Institute. When you do it, you sound like that cunt that everyone hates jamming with because you constantly want to hog the spotlight like some deluded contest from The Voice during those ridiculous battle rounds. They should really be called “Who can over-sing this piece of shit pop-song the hardest so that we can all suck their dicks later on, tell them they have huge amounts of talent, offer them a bullshit contract that is the very definition of exploitative and then ultimately cast them onto the shit-pile of former reality singing show winners once their 15 minutes in the sun is over”. That’s right, lead guitarist, you are the shitty deathcore band equivalent of “Whats’ername”, “that-cunt-with-the-sideburns” or my personal favourite “put-on-shitloads-of-weight-then-lost-it-all-to-earn-an-advertising-deal-with-Jenny-Craig”. Congrats, you too can be eminently forgettable.
Outside of the shit parts in this song, of which there are many, there is a few bright lights. For one, the drums are (as far as I can tell) live recorded and sound pretty damn solid. If they aren’t, then congrats on fooling me I guess. The vocals as I mentioned before are pretty fucking good too. The breakdown section (right after the lead guitar shuts the fuck up…only to start fucking soloing again) sounds pretty filthy, definitely had me gurning in disgust which is a great thing in Deathcore.
As you can see, there’s a fair amount of detritus on show here with the occasional glimmer of quality. I have no doubt whatsoever that these guys are solid musicians, they just need someone to direct their wrath. OH! And better production because this sounds duller than the Tuesday night roster at your local strip club, mix wise. Go back, work on your craft, hire a decent studio/producer and you have some good avenues for improvement.
Bass: can actually hear it!/10
Overall IPHYB Rating: 5/10
Enjoyment Factor: 3/10
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Chris Giacca just may be the worst writer in the world, but it doesn't matter because he probably still has a bigger audience than you, so he is by default automatically right about everything. No exceptions. He's currently writing a novel which will be uploaded in single chapter installments as spoken word on bandcamp. Physical releases will be on laser disc only, limited to 17 1/2 units. Don't ask about the half.
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