Song Review: Misery Machines – “Rainbow Gash”

Song Review: Misery Machines – “Rainbow Gash”

Song review: Rainbow Gash
Band: Misery Machines
Location: Perth, AUS
Date of Release: 14 February 2014
Genre: Crunkcore
Reviewer: The Astr0naut

Vocals – I want to open this review with me saying that I am biased to Crunkcore, because it was one of the genres that started me with music. One of the first bands I was ever like REALLY into was brokeNCYDE but I am a changed man, so that is put behind me. I will continue this by saying that Crunkcore, as shitty of a genre as it is, can have some good elements about it. Now let’s begin, shall we?

Screams: There isn’t much to comment on here. They’re either halfway decent to a point, or they’re pretty awful. Before I have metalfags jumping down my throat about this, if you were to picture some of these unclean vocals in a band that had no synth and was not Crunkcore, they would have the potential to sound okay in a very emo setting. Right now, I think your vocals need a shit ton more work.

Rapping:  Okay, so this is a song written about being a brony. First of all, I hate the MLP fandom, but I won’t let that affect my review. Actually, no, I am letting it affect my review. Your rapping is shit, but it’s catchy, so I’ll be nice.

Cleans: Stick to popcore music if you’re going to sing. You have the type of voice that reminds me of Matt Mehana from I Set My Friends on Fire. If you use the right reverb, it could totally sound really good. You can hit a hell of a high note, and if you learn to use that right, your career MAY actually go somewhere. You’d have to stop making crunkcore though. There was one thing that turned me REALLY off to it though, and that was the shriek you did towards the end of the song. Never do that again. I’m going to pretend the shriek never existed for your sake.

Piano: Gotta admit, this is done decently. I love when bands implement the piano, and like an actual piano, not the keyboard. So Piano wise, I’m going to keep it short and throw a number at you.

Synth: As a sucker for synth, I love someone who can tickle one fancily. You did not tickle the synth fancily. This was generic Crunkcore synth and to make it in the Crunkcore scene, you have to be incredibly catchy and incredibly ridiculous. Try actually tickling your synth next time~

Drums: Over-produced sample drums. Lame. If this was any other genre than Crunkcore, I’d fail the fucking fuck out of you, but because it’s Crunkcore, it is acceptable. Ew.

Production: Well, I mean the samples were good quality. Make sure for next time, you use a real mic instead of the shitty Guitar Hero mic you probably used to record the vocals.

Lyrics: This is a lyric: “And I wanna fuck a pony, you know me the brony, swag.”

Songwriting: Because Crunkcore has interesting songwriting… Sure…… Lolnope

Overall IPHYB Rating: So as I mentioned before, I have a love for good Crunkcore, but this sucks. In the bio, this band said that they were making music for three years. You’re obviously doing something fucking wrong if you’re still making Crunkcore this shitty after three years. Maybe your scene bangs are too in the way, maybe you’re too crunk for your own good. Do something better with your shit or stop making music, because you’re making the entire genre of Crunkcore, which is already a bad genre, look even fucking worse. Because I’m biased towards my love for Crunkcore, I’ll decide to have a heart for once in my life.

Vocals –
Screams: 4/10 Rapping 1/10 Cleans 2/10
Piano: 5.5/10
Synth: 3/10
Drums: 3/10
Production: 5/10
Lyrics: 0/10
Songwriting: 0/10
Overall IPHYB Rating: 4/10
Personal Enjoyment Factor: 2/10

Song Review: Misery Machines – “Rainbow Gash”
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