Song Review: Illusionist – “United/Divided”

Song Review: Illusionist – “United/Divided”

Song: “United/Divided”
Band: Illusionist
Location: Sydney, Australia
Date of Release: 12/05/2014
Genre: Metalcore
Reviewer: Thrillhouse

Well, I think in reviewing this song I have stumbled across a perfect example of what it looks like when an obviously adequate band decides to follow the crowd and release completely generic music.
Because why make meaningful, original music when you can just fit in, instead?

Don’t get me wrong here, the boys in Illusionist appear to be decent musicians who can throw together an acceptable and listenable track, but it just grinds my gears when I hear a song that is really well done, but just screams “GENERIC!“.
I know perfectly well that in this day and age, just about everything has been done before… But isn’t that all the more reason why you shouldn’t just give up and follow the herd?
Being a writer for IPHYB, I hear plenty of other songs pretty much exactly like “United/Divided” on a daily basis;

  • Heavy vocals split up by intermittent clean and gang-vocal sections
  • Slow paced, cymbal-heavy, double-kick laden drums
  • Chuggy 0-0-0-0 guitars, broken up with groove sections and ambient, reverb-heavy lead breaks
  • A bass player who is really nothing more than a token member that plays follow the leader with the rhythm guitarist
I feel kind of harsh saying this (although I really shouldn’t; just look at the website I’m writing this for), but: Congratulations! You have achieved your goal of sounding exactly like every other fucking homogeneous genericore band on the planet.
Really, the only advice I can offer you from here is that you guys should either give up now and save wasting a few years wondering why no-one is taking notice of your band, or get the fuck off your asses and do something cool and new!
That’s the secret to being a successful band right there! Do something new that makes people take notice, or take the asshole route and be the first to copy the person doing something groundbreaking.
Being the one-millionth band to do the exact same thing doesn’t mean you win a special prize, sorry.

Thrillhouse out.

Vocals –
Screams: 7/10
Cleans 7/10
Guitars: 6/10
Bass: 4/10
Drums: 5/10
Production: 7/10
Lyrics: 6/10
Songwriting: 3/10
Overall IPHYB Rating: 5/10
Personal Enjoyment Factor: 1/10

Song Review: Illusionist – “United/Divided”
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Liam Robnik

Director at IPHYB
Liam Robnik, AKA Thrillhouse.
I Probably Hate Your Band's Co-Publisher.
Musician, collector of fine guitars, purveyor of shit reviews.
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