Song: Eve, Mother of All (feat. Mark Poida of I, Valiance Aversions Crown) Band/Artist:Exanimis Location: Golden Bay, WA Date of Release: Aug 14, 2014 Genre: Animal abuse Reviewer: Lietusgaze For Fans Of: 4/4 Why They Aren’t Famous: a fetish for mediocrity
It is a well known and accepted fact that failed and injured racehorses who no longer have the potential to return a profit have very little commercial value, and therefore are mostly discarded. According to The Australian Racing Fact Book (2010), approximately 18,000 thoroughbred foals are born in Australia each year, while the number of racehorses that compete in horseracing remains relatively stagnant at around 31500. 18,000 horses must therefore exit the industry each year in order for the competition pool to remain the same. This band beats every one of those dead horses so much that I’m surprised they haven’t been picketed by PETA.
The band call themselves Death-Djent on their bandcamp. I don’t know if they are incredibly self-aware and are trying to joke around or if they’ve never heard the bands they’re sonically molesting and somehow incorporating every deathcore trope with no prior knowledge of the genre, but either way, you made me laugh, and that’s mostly all that matters. You have a 5 note lead pattern over a breakdown, you can call yourselves progressive too if you want!
I’m going to start with what I like about this song. I’ll be nice. The vocals are at a high standard, even if the lyrics aren’t much to talk about. Yes, yes, the world is ending. Biblical figures. Armies of undisclosed beings. Kony 2012. We get it. The musicianmanship on this song is technically demanding but uninspired, and this has been the Achilles heel of a lot of bands before them in this genre. Chromatic and technical riffs aren’t a bad thing, but the repetition in them is something that shouldn’t be something to strive towards.
The bass in this song keeps up well. This is not an easy song, and while it doesn’t stray far from the guitar and there’s not much room for aberration. Judging by their chops, it would have been much more refreshing for there to’ve been a bass solo instead of that bland meat loaf of a guitar solo.
And then there’s your drummer. This song had potential. Your drummer took that potential, dug a small hole in the ground, pushed it down there with a stick and fucked it until he came, and then fucked it harder until he made a dirt-semen mud pie. The only forgiveness is in some impressive kick-drum work. For one part of the song. Get your shit together.
The breakdowns in this song (Wait, fuck, my bad. Death-Djent riffs) are beyond mind-numbingly boring and predictable, to the point of offensiveness. It’s been done so much that I’m beating a dead horse over you beating a dead horse. One of the key selling points of djent was that it was a fresh breath of air into the breakdowns so relentlessly abused, only to have it bastardized and abused itself. You have the chops, join bands at the forefront of progressive heavy music and throw away the cliches and stereotypes. Australia needs you to not be dickheads.
Vocals: 8/10 Guitars: 5/10 Bass: 9/10 Drums: fire your drummer/10 Production: 7.5/10 Lyrics: 3/10 Songwriting: 3/10 Overall IPHYB Rating: 3/10 Personal Enjoyment Factor: 4/10
Song Review: Exanimis – “Eve, Mother of All” (feat. Mark Poida of Aversions Crown)
I Probably Hate Your Band is a shitty website full of asshole writers. We do nothing but destroy the hopes and dreams of young bands, and have never offered a single positive thing to the world. /Sarcasm
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