Song Review: By Eleanor – “Never Wanna Say Goodbye”

Song Review: By Eleanor – “Never Wanna Say Goodbye”

Song review: “Never Wanna Say Goodbye”
Band: By Eleanor
Location: Gympie, QLD, Australia
Date of Release: 20/07/13
Genre: Alternative Rock, Hip Hop
Reviewer: Thrillhouse

Just putting it out there: If Coldplay and James Cunt incorporated some rad Aussie hip-hop in their music like these guys do, I wouldn’t be actively seeking out a way to ensure they’re killed and their music is wiped from existence by 2017 (at the latest).

Now, at first I thought I was going to fucking despise this song, simply because the cool drum and piano intro was just not enough to sate my bloodlust for soft rock bands, but now I actually kind of dig it in a way, sort of.
All the instruments are done OK: the singer knows his shit, the guitarist certainly plays the guitar, the bass player does what ever the fuck those idiots do, the drummer bashes shit with sticks, and then the FUCKING SKIP-HOP DUDE COMES IN!
A lot of people are really surprised when they find this out about me (I don’t expect you to be, dear reader, as you probably have no idea who I am, dumbass), but I have a definite soft spot for skip-hop (Aussie hip-hop).

I think old matey rapping really made this song bearable for me.
The guitar was kind of really boring as fuck, the drums were good, the bass was just bass, the vocalist sings like his penis was confiscated at birth, and I think I’ve seen this EXACT video done by at least 420 billion other bands.
Dude and his girlfriend fight, he guts up in her grill, she tells his bitch ass what’s what, he fucks off and gets drunk in a bar off of a single, watered down light beer or some gay shit, gets thrown out of the bar for being a derelict tosser, cue some cutsie romantic memories the two had together, then he goes and apologizes to his crying girlfriend (who has WAY too much eyeliner streaming down her face, mind you), and then happy ending.
It’s like every romantic comedy + a Coldplay song + Bliss n Eso for some reason.

Also, seriously: WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THE GUITAR SOLO?!
It’s like some EPIC buildup, with a HUGE bend… And then nothing really happens. I though old mate was going to bust out with some awesome shredding, melodic solo, but it just kind of came out like “OK guys, I’M GONNA GO FOR IT!!!!… On second thoughts, I’ll just fade back into the background, I’m shy lolz.”

So all in all (tl;dr) ‘Never Wanna Say Goodbye’ is a well recorded song, the vocalist can certainly sing, the rapping bits are fucking bad-ass and different, the drums are strong, and the other two are certainly there… But I just feel this shit is SO overdone.
I can’t even handle how run-of-the-mill and average this soft rock is. Also, the video has been done by every other band in existence before. And the guitar solo made my dick so flaccid, it’s practically inverted now.

Vocals: Rapping: 7.5/10 Cleans: 7.5/10
Guitars: 6/10
Bass: 7/10
Drums: 7/10
Production: 8/10
Lyrics: 6/10
Songwriting: 6/10
Overall IPHYB Rating: 7/10

-Thrillhouse

Song Review: By Eleanor – “Never Wanna Say Goodbye”
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Liam Robnik

Director at IPHYB
Liam Robnik, AKA Thrillhouse.
I Probably Hate Your Band's Co-Publisher.
Musician, collector of fine guitars, purveyor of shit reviews.
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