Song Review: HAZE – ‘Eta Carinae’

Song Review: HAZE – ‘Eta Carinae’

Song: Eta Carinae
Band: HAZE
Location: idk, somewhere in Aus and some cunts from Russia apparently
Date of Release: 1st January, 2016
Genre: Northlane
Reviewer: Chris Giacca (abuse me on twitter @Giaccattack)
For Fans Of: Northlane

First time I tried listening to this, I got roughly 11 seconds in before I turned it off and listened to ‘Quantum Flux’ by Northlane instead. Now, I’m not going to insinuate that the start of this song is almost a carbon copy, so instead I’m going to come out and fucking state it outright.

No. Seriously. If you can get through this song without subconsciously, or consciously for that matter, singing the lyrics to ‘Quantum Flux’ over the top of it, you’re a much stronger person than I am. You also probably have far more patience for mediocrity than I do, and if so, I pity your presumably pointless existence. Cheers.

Vocals: N
Guitars: O
Bass: R
Drums: T
Production: H
Lyrics: L
Songwriting: A
Overall IPHYB Rating: N
Enjoyment Factor: E

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Song Review: HAZE – ‘Eta Carinae’
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Chris Giacca

Publisher at IPHYB
Chris Giacca just may be the worst writer in the world, but it doesn't matter because he probably still has a bigger audience than you, so he is by default automatically right about everything. No exceptions. He's currently writing a novel which will be uploaded in single chapter installments as spoken word on bandcamp. Physical releases will be on laser disc only, limited to 17 1/2 units. Don't ask about the half.

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Comments

  • Viper

    lol Northlane called they want their everything back