Song Review: Ascending Fall – “Hurts To Know”

Song Review: Ascending Fall – “Hurts To Know”

Song review: “Hurts To Know”
Band: Ascending Fall
Location: Perth, WA, Australia
Date of Release: 13/06/2014
Genre: Pop-punk
Reviewer: Dyler Turden

It Hurts To Know that gravity is only a small part of what Ascending Fall don’t understand.

This is going to suck. I love punk and pop-punk, so it pains me to have to review this pile of horrible melodies and mediocre song writing. Ascending Fall start the song with a Blink-182 riff, and continue into another Blink-182 riff. Using a Blink-182 chord progression, they continue to channel Blink-182 throughout their tribute to Blink-182. Badly.

The vocals take the SoCal approach and piss all over it, leaving a wet and smelly mess of nasal abuse and missed notes. Why do Aussie bands always put on an American accent? It makes absolutely no sense. Your voice has the potential to set you apart from all the American and Australian pop-punk up and comers doing this same style – well not THIS voice, but A singers voice in general – it could be the deciding factor in gaining a listener, so why would you put more effort into changing the one thing that could differentiate you instead of putting effort into writing interesting melodies?
The lyrics aren’t helping either. Obvious and forced rhymes, tired sex jokes with none of the charm their idols had: “…I can’t get you off my mind, when another guy’s doing you from behind”. Clap fucking clap. He’s probably doing her from behind because he can’t bear to look at the face of someone who’s heard this fucking band.

The guitar tone is downright horrible. I would hazard a guess that it’s recorded from either a practice amp or plugged straight into a computer with digital effects added afterwards. It sounds dated and muddy; lacking any of the clarity or balls that pop-punk needs to be successful.
The style is lifted directly from Blink-182’s “Buddah” record, repeatedly diluted until only a hint of the original appeal remains. It’s like a watered down light beer. From the chords in the main riff and the verse, to the annoyingly high pitched lead part in the chorus, the guitar could have been doing so much more while letting the bass carry the song with these classic (read: over used) root notes.
I understand the whole pop-punk ethos of fun and off the cuff songs, happy go lucky attitude, and adolescent disregard for things like guitar lessons and vocal training – but this is just taking it a little bit too far. 15 years ago, punk bands could start out like this and use the time in between albums to progress and become better song writers. These days, bands do not have that luxury, you need to be good, and you need to be good NOW.
Don’t blame me, blame the internet.

As for the bass, they stole Blink-182’s bass line! You bastards, they’ve only got the one.

The drums are very much Blink-182, before they were good. Comprised of one simple beat, lacking any real speed or flair, just kind of there – below the bare minimum in variation, just a multi-sound metronome. No part of this makes me want to nod my head or tap my foot, which is ultimately the drummers job.

”Hurts To Know” has all the originality of saying “that’s what she said” with none of the mildly amusing irony. The production is basically demo quality. I’m guessing these guys submitted it for the fun of getting a bad review for free. The terrifying alternative is that they honestly believe this is good.

Vocals: Screams: NA/10 Cleans: 3/10
Guitars: tape deck turned up too loud/10
Bass: that one from that blink song/10
Drums: pre-Travis Barker blink/10
Production: blink demo/10
Lyrics: scrapped blink jokes/10
Songwriting: VCVCBC/10
Overall IPHYB Rating: 3/10
Personal Enjoyment Factor: during a random office survey, 97% said that my fingers taping the keys to write this review was the preferred alternative to actually hearing the song, the other 3% asked to see some ID/10

If you’re looking for poorly written and executed pop-punk demos, look no further.

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Song Review: Ascending Fall – “Hurts To Know”
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