11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Zeolite

Zeolite are three blokes from Tasmania. Yes, Tassie. That tiny little island full of breathtaking landscapes, fine wine, and meth. They’re hitting the road next month with Melbourne lads Bury The Kings on The Only Curse Tour, so we thought we’d catch up with frontman Fraser to have a chat about chicken nuggets and half-naked children. Cheers. — Do you have riffs? If not, why do you feel it is acceptable to constantly dog the boys? Do you guys know what the definition of a riff actually is? A riff is defined as a cluster of notes in sequence in a song, the only way to not have a riff is to not have guitars, even if they are opens (TAKE THAT). We’ve been known to have guitars, thus the odd riff. We even have multiple notes. But sometimes the boys need a good doggin’, it’s good for them. Take that however you please. Why do the large majority of bands in your genre sound exactly the same as the bands in that genre ten years ago? Ever heard of progression? Or are you just happy to keep beating a dead horse before an ever dwindling audience? Progression is dead. Art is cyclical. Unless you are actually talking about beating off dead horses? Our kinda thing. Have you ever watched a movie? It’s exactly the same fucking thing. No one has original ideas, you just re hash an idea from 10, maybe 20 years ago, and everyone is all over it as creative genius/plagiarism. Which? Seems to be a flip of a coin. Can you give us a rundown...

10 Shit Songs That Are Shit

G’day, cunnos. It’s been a while since I’ve done one of these articles, so I figured it was time to sharpen my cleats and do some good, ol’ fashioned band-stomping. This list is comprised of 10 songs that are either straight up shit, or so boring that they may as well be. Links are provided in the titles, so click on the song title to listen. Do so at your own risk, obviously, and don’t say you weren’t warned. Enjoy! 1. Kings Hollow – Herald You know that things aren’t going to be pretty when the simple lead phrase intro is poorly tracked. Oh boy, what a stinker this is. Everyone remember It Dies Today? Remember how shit their screamer was? I’m willing to bet these guys do, because as soon as homeslice opens his mouth, you’ll probably instantly think of him, just like I did. Unlike IDT though, the music doesn’t make up for it in any way, shape or form. Next. 2. Valeria Warntz – I Don’t Love You Anymore Holy shit, I fucking love broken English. Aside from this song being extremely boring, and the vocals sounding ever so slightly sharp for the whole first verse, and just being pretty fuckin’ average in general, the lyrics just put the icing on the poorly-made, inaccurately pronounced cake. ‘Why do you lie? It is so meanly. It turned out that you have just played a wicked game. You can’t deny, you’d never loved me. So why did you spent time with me,what was your aim?’ ‘But your actions just showed me reverse And I felt the pain in...

Five Alternative Purchases To Justin Bieber VIP Tickets

Justin Bieber is coming to our fair shores in March ’17, and the front row tickets will run you a princely … wait, no, scratch that, a lordly $640 for VIP package #1, the ‘I’ll show you’ experience. Now, I want to preface what I’m about to write in this article by saying that Bieber is okay. Sort of. Purpose was a hard 6.5, maybe 7/10 tops, which in the context of his other releases, is probably equivalent to a 9/10. He’s not a particularly great singer, but I get the feeling that 99% of his fans aren’t too concerned with that, and probably don’t have much of a comparison metric to go on in the first place. In any case, if you are seriously considering dropping well over half a grand on this, I think it’s pretty fair to say you may not have fully explored your options re: what six-hundred-and-forty bones can get you, considering that the VIP package amounts to the following: • One ticket to the exclusive JB Pit inside the stage • One Premium Merchandise Pack created exclusively for Bkstg VIPs • One Exclusive Commemorative Laminate • Early Entry to the Venue • On site concierge including exclusive VIP Cloaking to allow you to store your exclusive Merchandise Pack until the end of the show • “I’ll Show You” VIP Pit Experience tickets can only be collected from the venue on the day of the event. No “I’ll Show You” VIP Pit Experience tickets will be sent out So without further ado, allow me to outline a bunch of ways in which you will...

Bandcamp Bargain Bin #3 ft. Sam Dishington [Départe]

G’day, flogs. This installment of Bandcamp Bargain Bin has been hand-picked by none other than Disho himself, so you can expect a healthy smattering of black metal, metal that is black, metal noir, and good ol’ fashioned black metal, just for good measure. There’s probably some other shit in there as well, I guess. As an aside, Départe are releasing a full-length very soon, so you should probably head over to their bandcamp page and drop a pre-order on that sonbitch pronto. Enjoy! As always, links are in the titles. Abaton – Discography Killer proggy doomy sludge metal from Italy with a smattering of hardcore and some really sick atmosphere. Plus a guest vocal spot from old mate from Nero Di Marte, and that guy is sick, so get around it. Pay What You Wish. The Armed – Discography Fans of Converge, The Dillinger Escape Plan and Every Time I Die (I think, I don’t listen to much ETID… but I think of them when I listen to this) will dig this rad four piece math/hardcore band. All 7 of their releases on Bandcamp are Free Download, which is nice of them! Free Download Frontierer – Discography Mathcore. Mathcore, mathcore, mathcore. These Scots play very sick, super hectic and aggressive mathcore in the vein of Car Bomb, The Tony Danza Tapdance Extravaganza and Sectioned. In fact, some of the guys from Frontierer are also in Sectioned, who you should definitely also check out. Their stuff is free on Bandcamp too. I probably should have put them on this list. Oh well, next time. Pay What You Wish Hexis –...

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Deadspace

Deadspace are from Perth, so right away we are off to a bad start. I’m not saying you should automatically assume they are shit because of that one fact, but … actually, yeah I am. That’s exactly what I’m saying. Anyway, they were dumb enough to answer our 11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands, so here’s their answers. If they don’t make any sense, don’t say we didn’t warn you that they are from Perth. Cheers. — Do you have riffs? If not, why do you feel it is acceptable to constantly dog the boys? We did have riffs but Shining stole them all. Why do the large majority of bands in your genre sound exactly the same as the bands in that genre ten years ago? Ever heard of progression? Or are you just happy to keep beating a dead horse before an ever dwindling audience? When we were kids we always wanted to be astronauts. Being in our 20s and still waiting to hit puberty, we thought we’d hang out and throw tantrums together. Maybe one day we’ll be able to get into bars without getting ID’d and take ourselves more seriously. Can you give us a rundown of your gear? How much did that cost your mums? My mum opted out of the abortion so she could buy me a microphone … much to her dismay, it didn’t work out too well for her. Do you actually think that breakdowns are a good songwriting technique or are you just pandering to the five kids in mosh shorts that stand in the middle of the room at...

11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands: Black Rheno

Black Rheno are a huge misnomer, on account of none of them being black, or named ‘Rheno’. Personally, I would urge everyone to form a class action and sue them for false advertising, but considering they look like they would be hard pressed affording a pack of durries between them, that could prove pretty futile. To add insult to injury, they sent their drummer, Doug Martin, to answer our 11 Shit Questions For Shit Bands, so if the result is unintelligible gabble, you’ll understand why. Cheers. Do you have riffs? If not, why do you feel it is acceptable to constantly dog the boys? I don’t. I just play drums behind Nano’s riffs, but I’m sure there’s something he’s keeping from us. He is Spanish after all … Why do the large majority of bands in your genre sound exactly the same as the bands in that genre ten years ago? Ever heard of progression? Or are you just happy to keep beating a dead horse before an ever dwindling audience? 1) We have created our own post-modern style “Shoe Soul”, so that’s irrelevant, and 2) If you know us, then you would know we love to beat anything dead in front of an audience. We just keep beating and beating until it bursts! Can you give us a rundown of your gear? How much did that cost your mum? Pearl Master’s Maple kit & Hardware, Zildjian/TRX cymbals, Cympad cymbal felts, and Inferno Music Blackbolt Sticks. My mum? Nothing at all. Though the one night I had at your mumma’s certainly funded a good chunk of it. Do you...

Song Premiere: Illyria – Sarim [EXCLUSIVE]

We are proud to present the exclusive premiere of Illyria’s third single, ‘Sarim’. Gracing from Perth, Western Australia, Illyria was founded by Ilija Stajić in late 2013 whilst travelling in Europe looking for a new, refreshing sound to compose and bring back to the Southern hemisphere. After falling in love with the subgenre blackgaze, the project followed later on with the addition of Perth local George Blacklock in 2014. The duo envisioned a philosophy to create an emotionally polarizing fusion of post-rock and black metal. After a whole year of composing nearly an hour’s worth of music, Jeremy Pickett took up the task to record Illyria’s debut single and album for a later date. Illyria’s debut single ‘Cold Summer’ was released early 2015 with a niche following in the local scene. The exposure was further embellished due to internet promotion touching new audiences around the world wanting more. With this minor success, Illyria’s new goal was to carve a debut release with a full band. The line-up was completed in the latter half of 2015 with the additions of Matt Unkovich (Drums), Daniel Hacking (Bass) and James Warren (Guitar). Inspired by fellow contemporaries Alcest, Deafheaven, Lantlôs and Les Discrets – Illyria’s goal is to capture and build on the gracious melodies and pulsating rhythms of the hybrid genre whilst pushing the accessibility of the genre to new listeners around the world. The debut self-titled album is ready and preparing to be released for 2016. You can catch Illyria as support for prog outfit Caligula’s Horse on April 9th @ Amplifier in...

[NEW MUSIC] City Light Satellite – ‘OASFOTTHWYRYP?’ [POP PUNK]

Band: City Light Satellite Song: On A Scale From One To Ten, How Would You Rate Your Pain​? Location: Sydney, Australia Date of Release 3rd March, 2016 For Fans of: Neck Deep, Set Your Goals On A Scale From One To Ten, How Would You Rate Your Pain?​ is the debut single from Sydney emo/pop punk act City Light Satellite. Formed in Western Sydney late last year, the band are fresh out of the studio from recording the new track and played their first show last week at Valve Bar in Sydney. It’s not often we get top-tier pop punk bands in Australia, so make sure to throw your support behind these fine blokes to keep good quality homegrown pop punk alive. 'On A Scale From One To Ten, How Would You Rate Your Pain?' by City Light...

[NEW MUSIC] Scars Have Faded – Faulty Product [METALCORE]

Band: Scars Have Faded Song: Faulty Product Location: Central Coast, NSW Date of Release 3rd April, 2016 For Fans of: The Word Alive, As I Lay Dying Central coast Metalcore locals SCARS HAVE FADED have released a new song entitled Faulty Product, taken from their upcoming EP Endure, Survive. We lovingly roasted Scars Have Faded back when they submitted their track False Family to IPHYB last year, and while the track wasn’t too bad, Faulty Product is a massive step-up for the fellas and a promising display of things to come on the EP. Scars Have Faded are probably best known for shit all because they were pretty basic, and now they’re dank af, you idiots. Endure, Survive will be the band’s second EP, following their debut Misconceptions. It’s out April 22nd through BandCamp, Spotify and iTiunes, and the lads will also be embarking on a supporting tour through April/May. SCARS HAVE FADED Australian Tour 2016 Saturday, April 9 The Small Ballroom, Newcastle Saturday, April 23 The Valve Bar, Sydney [18+] Sunday, April 24 Towradgi Surf Club, Wollongong Friday, April 29 The Basement, Canberra [18+] Saturday, April 30 Wrangler Studios, Melbourne Wednesday, May 11 Drone, Newcastle Sunday, May 15 Rad Bar, Wollongong Thursday, May 26 Tamworth Youth Centre, Tamworth Saturday, May 28 Boambee Community Centre, Coffs Sunday, May 29 The Brightside, Brisbane [18+] WATCH: SCARS HAVE FADED – Faulty...

[NEW MUSIC] Fero Lux – ‘No Rest’ [MATHCORE]

Band: Fero Lux Album: No Rest Location: Broward County, Florida Date of Release 25th March, 2016 For Fans of: The Dillinger Escape Plan, Botch Florida mathcore band FERO LUX are streaming their second album No Rest in full on SoundCloud, ahead of its official release on March 25. The pissed-off and politically aggressive lads have the album available to preorder through their Bandcamp, yet decided to spring it on you sorry bastards a little early for your auditory pleasure. The band has also released a clip for the first single No Insignia, which you can check out below along with the full album stream....

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